


This Path We Tread

by Minatu



Series: Sylvix Over and Over Again [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alpha!Annette, Alpha!Ferdinand, Alpha!Hubert, Alpha!Ingrid, Alpha!Sylvain, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beta!Dorothea, Beta!Mercedes, Children of Characters, Communication? What Communication?, Crimson Flower Route, Emotional Constipation, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Crimson Flower Spoilers, M/M, Minor Annette Fantine Dominic/Mercedes von Martritz, Minor Dorothea Arnault/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Minor Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Miscommunication, Mpreg, Omega!Ashe, Omega!Dedue, Omegaverse, References to Depression, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy, alpha/omega pair, bad decision making, implied soulmates, mentioned alpha/alpha pair, mentioned alpha/beta pairs, no beta we die like Glenn, omega!felix
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minatu/pseuds/Minatu
Summary: Felix wasn’t supposed to be an omega. He really wasn’t. The results had to be wrong. He didn’t want to be an omega. Being an omega was a pain. It got in the way of everything he had wanted to do. Now he was suddenly being shown potential marriage candidates at tea with his mother, and his father decided to pull him from schooling in Garreg Mach until he got “used to the changes”. Whatever that meant. Felix wasn’t a child. He was in his twenties. He should’ve presented by now, but he hadn’t, and he didn’t think it was anything to worry over like his parents were. Everything should’ve just remained the same. Nothing was different. Not really anyway.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Sylvix Over and Over Again [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460770
Comments: 17
Kudos: 64





	1. Presenting

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be 5K max... It's currently at... 20K, there will be like, 4... or 5?? parts. We'll see.
> 
> *
> 
> “ _ It's stupid, but I'm better off when I stay quiet _ _   
>  _ _ 'Cause I push away all the ones that hold me close _ __   
>  _ I'm losing my mind, oh yeah, I just can't take it, no _ _   
>  _ __ I'm in the corner, yeah, I'm bleeding on the ropes ”
> 
> \- “Freaking Out” by A R I Z O N A

Felix wasn’t supposed to be an omega. He really wasn’t. The results had to be wrong. He didn’t want to be an omega. Being an omega was a pain. It got in the way of everything he had wanted to do. Now he was suddenly being shown potential marriage candidates at tea with his mother, and his father decided to pull him from schooling in Garreg Mach until he got “used to the changes”. Whatever that meant. Felix wasn’t a child. He was in his twenties. He should’ve presented by now, but he hadn’t, and he didn’t think it was anything to worry over like his parents were. Everything should’ve just remained the same. Nothing was different. Not really anyway.

He was still just as frustrated as he was when he found out while he packed his things away. It wasn’t like he could just refuse to return home. He just didn’t understand why he had to. There were other omegas at the school, and they were doing just fine. They wore the standard black bands around their necks and were excused during their monthly heat cycles. They were even kept in a separate dorm for safety! Felix would’ve been fine. He could’ve just moved out of the beta dorms and into the omega ones. He would have dealt with the humiliation of having to wear a collar to his classes if only he could stay. He wasn’t even showing any signs! No pheromones! No heat! In all twenty plus years of his life! It didn’t _matter_!

With a loud huff, he kicked the wooden leg of his bed in anger. Felix shouldn’t have to leave. Maybe he was just talking himself in circles now, only serving to make himself angrier and angrier, but he didn’t care! He couldn’t see the logic in his parents’ decision. He didn’t want to go home and discuss being married off to some noble he didn’t know with his mother. He didn’t want to be looked at with pity by his father, who never wanted his kids to be omegas. Never wanted him to be anything but an alpha like Glenn. He didn’t want to go home.

Someone knocked on his door. Felix didn’t feel like answering it. He was at the verge of snapping. The door opened anyway, and he turned to see Sylvain standing there. Sylvain always seemed to show up when he was angry. He didn’t get it. Why couldn’t Sylvain read the mood like everyone else? Why couldn’t he be bothered to leave him _alone_? Felix didn’t want to talk, least of all with Sylvain. 

“You’re really leaving?” Sylvain asked. His voice didn’t hide his surprise at all. Felix grimaced. He didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with Sylvain, who was an alpha, and had always _been_ an alpha. Even when they were kids, everyone knew Sylvain was an alpha. He was already taller than all the other kids, faster than them... not particularly smarter though.

“Of course! Why else would I be packing my things?” Felix snapped. He was already angry. He was just taking it out on Sylvain again. Nothing was different.

“Then... you’re really...” Sylvain started, looking like he couldn’t actually say it aloud. Felix flushed in embarrassment and anger. He was tempted to throw something at Sylvain. He was such a blockhead. What was even in his brain? Was it really just omega girls like he always acted like it was? Was he really as dumb as he liked to pretend to be? Felix’s eyes narrowed, leveling Sylvain with a suspicious gaze.

“Yes! You oaf! Now leave me alone!” Felix yelled, slamming his suitcase shut harder than he really had to. Sylvain didn’t say anything then, but he also didn’t leave Felix’s room. He was really acting strange. Then Felix smelled something. Pheromones. He’d never really scented Sylvain’s pheromones before. Not even when he chatted up girls. Why was he...? He looked over at Sylvain in surprise. Felix backed away from Sylvain cautiously. He was basically trapped in his room with Sylvain blocking the door like that. Why didn’t he notice earlier how odd Sylvain was being? As the scent got stronger, it sent a shiver down Felix’s spine. Goddess, was he reacting to _Sylvain_? 

“I had always kind of hoped you were an omega,” Sylvain said suddenly with a sigh. He dropped to a crouch, hiding his face with his hands. Felix’s eyes narrowed. That didn’t feel true at all. Why would he go around acting like a floozy if he felt that way? Why wouldn’t he just spend more time with Felix? Felix had hated running across Sylvain flirting with someone, and it had hurt at first, but he had forced himself to ignore it though that didn’t stop him from ridiculing Sylvain at every chance.

None of this made sense. Felix’s mind was racing, and he gripped a sword tightly in his hand, fully prepared to point it at Sylvain if he had to. He would not succumb to any of this. If he was to be taken by anyone, it would be his own decision and made with a level head.

“Sure, you did. Now you can just flirt with me all the time and try to get into my pants too,” Felix scoffed, knuckles white on the hilt of his sword and swallowing down his own unease. Sylvain looked stricken. 

“I’m not...” he swallowed, running a hand through his red hair. He looked like he was trying to explain himself, but Felix didn’t really want to hear it. He was packed at this point. He latched his suitcase, holding it with a single hand while keeping the other firmly on his sword. Felix stared at Sylvain expectantly, hoping he would get the idea and move out of the way. Otherwise he’d have to make him move.

“I’m leaving now,” Felix told Sylvain then, “Profess your love for me or something in a letter, and I’ll burn it.” He pushed past Sylvain, the proximity and smell of him burning his nostrils. He left without saying a proper goodbye, walking as quickly as he could away from Sylvain and hoping no one would notice he was trying not to run. 

Felix didn’t want to know what Sylvain was thinking. He honestly didn’t want anything to do with it. He had never really noticed how alphas had smelled before, and having Sylvain’s be the first one he noticed? It felt a bit strange and heavy inside him. He didn’t want to think about the effect it had had on him. Maybe going home would be good for him if Sylvain was going to be constantly trying to woo him too, like he was any other omega. Something about that thought hit him like he had a knife burrowed in his heart.

* * *

Being back at the Fraldarius estate was about what Felix had expected it to be. A physician met him on his arrival, prescribing him all of the usual omega necessities. The black band for his throat was heavy in his hands, and Felix didn’t want to wear it. His other hand balled into a fist at his side when he thought about putting it on. It was like announcing what he was loudly, and it made his head ache. 

Still, Felix tried to pay attention to what the doctor was saying about his suppressants even though his mind swam with thoughts and drifted away constantly. All he knew was he was supposed to take them every day. Felix didn’t know if he could keep up with that. The pills didn’t bother him as much as the black band. Nothing would bother him as much. 

Felix had never liked anything touching his neck. It made him feel strangely vulnerable. The band was the same thing, but so much worse. It almost gave him a panic attack the first time he put it on. It was uncomfortable, and his skin crawled every time he felt it shift on his neck. Felix gritted his teeth and did his best to tolerate it though. It wasn’t like he had any other choice. A glance in the mirror was all Felix needed to feel the weight of the change that his presenting had brought on him. His eyes were instantly drawn to the black band, and he had to fight the urge to pull it off of himself. He could protect himself, and he didn’t need the help of a stupid piece of dyed leather to do it. 

His mother, unlike his father, was ecstatic that Felix was an omega as if it suddenly changed things between them. His mother had been miserable and closed off around them after Glenn died, her only honor, but now, Felix being something _more_ than a beta changed things for her. She thought it would make Felix more like a daughter or something; Felix honestly had no clue. Everything about the way she fussed over him now made him feel disgusting inside, like his organs were curdling. 

Even so, he still had to tolerate her whims. He sat stiffly at the lace covered table as she sorted through portraits of _suitable_ alphas. In the midst of them, Felix’s eyes locked onto a portrait of Sylvain. He grimaced, feeling a flash of anger surge through him, but of course, his parents would consider marrying him off to Sylvain as well. Still, with what had happened before Felix had left, he didn’t even want to consider it. 

“Oh! Has the Gautier boy caught your eye?” his mother cooed with a bright smile and lifted the portrait in her white gloved hands, admiring it for a moment, “You two were such great friends as children, and he has grown into a fine alpha.” Something about the way she complimented Sylvain made Felix feel sick. His jaw locked in position and refused to allow him to even attempt a response. 

His mother chuckled softly, her green eyes flashing over to Felix’s face, “You’re so shy. I’ll write up a letter of interest in a few days.” Felix’s blood was boiling, and he should’ve protested, said something, _anything_ , but he was frozen in place as he had been at every single other meeting with his mother. Usually he didn’t even bother to look at the portraits as she perused them and picked out one. He should’ve done that this time too. 

* * *

Felix’s first heat was a nightmare. He locked himself away in his room when he noticed the warning signs he barely remembered the doctor telling him about. His skin felt like it was on fire, and he was dizzy. There was a wet spot on his sheets and through his sleepwear. It had taken everything out of him, just to trek across the room and lock the heavy doors. 

As the day progressed, his mind grew hazy, and his heart pounded in his chest. All he could think about was the overwhelming need that clawed its way through his body. He ignored that he thought of red hair and large, freckled hands traveling his bare skin. His mind repeating the low mantra of: _alpha, alpha, alpha_ , but thinking of only one alpha. He fell asleep sticky; his cheeks streaked with tears as he tried to rationalize away that the heat wasn’t him. That was just the last alpha he had spoken too, but the deep ache in his heart whispered a different story.

* * *

“Your mother has picked out quite a few potential candidates,” Felix’s father sighed from his desk. A far smaller collection of portraits had made their way to the Duke’s desk, and Felix didn’t fail to notice both Dimitri’s and Sylvain’s were in the collection. Felix mostly wanted to bang his head into any solid surface he could find until it cracked than marry either of those two, but he didn’t open his mouth at all. Instead, Felix stood ramrod straight and glared at his father unwaveringly. 

“I’ve decided to put that on hold,” he continued, and Felix felt a wave of relief rush through him. His expression, however, showed no change at his father’s words. The Duke looked exhausted, like the Duchess had kept him up talking about it. Felix’s lips pressed into a frown.

“You’ve seem well enough to go back to Garreg Mach,” his father finally said, “One month of classes missed is probably enough.” He dismissed Felix moments later, and Felix couldn’t feel more relieved. He went to his room quickly and packed again but this time with much more enthusiasm. He didn’t forget to place his large supply of suppressants inside his suitcase and an extra band for his neck, pausing for only a moment to feel the warm leather. He was getting used to the collar, but it still itched. Things were different, and Felix didn’t want to think about it. 

* * *

Returning was strange. Everyone stared at him, or more specifically, the band around his neck. Felix hadn’t exactly expected this, but he tried to ignore it as Byleth led him to his new quarters among the omegas. The room was any different than his last. It smelled cleaner, and the bed was softer though. Felix kind of liked it. It felt safe, considering the series of locks attached to the heavy wood door. He was beginning to think it had been a good thing for him to be away for a month. 

Felix unpacked slowly, enjoying the quiet of the room. Barely anyone in his house would be allowed to check on him here, which was a small relief. Almost everyone was an alpha in the Blue Lions house. Felix paused when he heard a soft knock on the door. He sighed, figuring he should have known Ashe or Dedue would be sent to check in on him. He opened the door to reveal Ashe and felt relieved that it wasn't Dedue. He didn't want to deal with the Boar's loyal servant.

"Mercedes made you these to welcome you back," Ashe started, handing Felix a bag of red candies that Felix eyed suspiciously, "She said you'll definitely like this one. They aren't sweet at all. Also, Ingrid wanted you to meet her for dinner in the dining hall." Felix took the bag, knowing Mercedes probably tried her best to make them appeal to him.

"Thanks," Felix finally said stiffly, and Ashe gave a huge smile.

"Of course! Welcome back," he responded, hesitating for a moment before adding, "Also, if you need help or have any questions... I'd be happy to help." Felix didn't deign that with a response, closing the door quickly as the heat of embarrassment rushed to his cheeks. He wasn't going to talk about any of this with Ashe. Felix went back to slowly unpacking but minded the time a little so he wouldn't miss Ingrid.

The time finally came, and Felix had been completely unpacked for quite a while longer than he would've liked. He wasn't sure he liked the looks he got from people when he walked by alone. They looked at him like he was _weak_. Felix wanted to slit all their throats, but it also made him hate that there was no one around him to take his mind off of it or bring some symbalance of security. Felix had always liked being alone, but this was something else entirely. He never wanted any of this. The band around his neck practically burned with the attention it drew to him, but Felix also knew better than to not wear it. Seeing Ingrid hurrying toward him, filled Felix with such a sense of relief that he almost hated himself for feeling it. He had never felt this defenseless before, and he was finding a whole new sense of respect for all of the other omegas at the academy.

"Felix! Welcome back!" she smiled widely at him and pulled him into a quick hug that made him go stiff until she pulled away, holding him at arm's length. Felix's mind swam with the soft, floral smell of Ingrid that he had never caught on her before, reminding him once again that she was an alpha. He pulled from her grasp gently, but the corners of his lips twitched with a smile.

"I wasn't gone that long," he grumbled, following Ingrid into the dining hall. The smell of food hit him first, and Felix was surprised to find himself feeling hungrier than he realized. Though he supposed going all day without anything to eat didn't help.

"Even so, I'm glad you're ok," Ingrid said, "I was worried you'd never come back." Her eyes flickered with a dark expression for a moment, and Felix recognized the look. It was the same one she had whenever she received letters from her father. Felix didn't say anything, his hand reaching up to touch the leather band idly. Their conversation died out as they approached the line, and Felix could feel a pair of eyes boring into him. He looked over the room, searching for who was staring at him so intensely and found Dimitri's deep blue eyes. Felix had no clue how to begin to puzzle out the look on his face, so he turned back to Ingrid. Ingrid had noticed where he was looking and smiled slightly.

"Dimitri's been worried about you," she said with a slight chuckle in a way that implied that she also felt uncomfortable about it. Felix didn't know how to even begin to broach the topic, so he decided to leave it alone. Once they had their food, Ingrid brought him over to where Mercedes, Annette and Ashe were sitting a bit away from Dimitri and Dedue, but still too close for Felix's comfort. He noticed Sylvain wasn't present but refused to verbally acknowledge it. After what had happened the last time they spoke, he was a little relieved to find Sylvain hadn't been as serious as he'd tried to claim. It was just another one of his _lines_. Felix honestly should've known. He didn't know why he was disappointed. This wasn't like him at all.

Felix mostly picked at his food, mechanically forcing himself to swallow little bites of it every once and awhile to keep Ingrid's worried looks to a minimum. Mercedes and Annette filled the air with jovial conversation with the help of Ashe, and Ingrid occasionally joined in. Felix just quietly listened, appreciating the feeling of being surrounded by the small group of friends. He had been lonely the past month, even though he hadn't realized it until he was surrounded by them all again. The only thing missing was Sylvain. Felix's thoughts kept cycling back to the red haired man, no matter how hard he tried to shake the thoughts. 

They were best friends once, but he supposed that was no longer the case.

* * *

It wasn’t time for his heat yet, but still Felix woke with that heavy feeling in his limbs and the heat pooling just beneath his skin. Felix staggered to the door, and he wanted to just lock himself in, but he knew he had to tell someone. He pushed out into the hall, headed for Ashe’s room. Felix was thankful that it was still early, and Ashe was still in his room, though it looked like Felix had woken him up. 

“Felix?” Ashe said in surprise, rubbing the sleep out of his usually bright eyes. Felix was a little surprised to find out the energetic guy didn’t just wake up jumping for joy. It was also the first time Felix had ever seen Ashe without his collar. It felt strange, to be privy to such an intimate part of Ashe even though he had no interest. 

“I...” Felix grinded his teeth together as the first wake of longing hit him like a tidal wave, and Ashe clearly noticed, his eyes widening significantly.

“Your smell is _so_ strong!” Ashe gasped, pushing Felix hurriedly back into his own room and shouting at him to lock it right away. Felix figured that Ashe had gotten the message that he would not be in class and stumbled through the several locks on the door. His fingers were shaking so badly, and Felix was already wishing it was over. Tears burned at the edges of his eyes. 

All of the locks were finally secured in places, and Felix wished the action would fill him with some sense of relief, but it didn’t. He laced his collar on slowly, and it made him feel more secure when his whole body was screaming for him to find an alpha. The logical part of him at least, was comforted by it being securely in place. Felix wasn’t quite completely in his heat but was already feeling most of the side effects. He checked his pills wondering if he’d missed a dose only to find he hadn’t. 

Then he remembered. He was a late bloomer, so the doctor had warned his cycle would be irregular. Felix groaned loudly, running his hands through his hair and tugging on it. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten that bit of information. He hated how inconvenient this all was. He hated his lack of control. He hated that he _wanted_ an alpha. Most of all, Felix hated that the alpha he wanted was one with red hair and bright, brown eyes. 

* * *

Felix’s heat was gone in a few days, and it was likely to come back again. He didn’t know when, and he couldn’t calm down. Even with a sword in his hand, gutting a straw dummy and practicing his forms, he couldn’t calm down. He was alone on the training grounds, and it was too early in the morning for most of the students to be up anyway. Felix felt like he should be angry about everything that was out of his control with his body, but instead, he was just scared. His heart hammered in his chest, and his hands were shaking. He kept thinking about how surprised Ashe had been by the smell of him that early morning. Ashe later asked if that was how his heats usually were, looking worried, and Felix just didn’t know. 

He shook his head, trying to clear it. He positioned himself to practice stabbing forward with his sword. He needed to focus. Felix needed to be stronger more than ever before; he _needed_ it. For a moment, he almost wished he really had been a beta. Just the thought of going back to blissful ignorance filled him with such anguish. Felix’s movements became more and more aggressive with each swing as if the dummy had personally attacked him. Felix was trying so hard to just bottle it all, but it felt like things kept leaking through. He wished he could’ve taken more time off, but a part of him feared that if he had, he would’ve been married off before he could even blink. 

Felix froze when he heard a thud nearby. He looked up quickly in the direction of the noise, finding some of the equipment had fallen over. Wooden swords and lances had spilled out onto the stone floors. His heart pounded in his chest as he looked around for the cause. Then the person who’d been hidden stood, rubbing the back of their hair with a loud yawn. Felix couldn’t believe someone had actually slept here, much less that it was Sylvain, who he barely saw outside of class. What was he even doing here? He never trained. 

“Mornin’,” Sylvain spoke with a lazy smile on his face. His uniform was unspeakably crumpled from sleeping outside in it. Felix frowned at him before turning back to the dummy he was working on destroying. Sylvain stretched slowly, his eyes lingering on Felix’s form.

“Spar with me,” Sylvain spoke suddenly, and Felix looked at him in disbelief. He almost said no, but maybe it couldn’t hurt to. It’s not like Sylvain had some other reason for the offer. After all, he had never won against Felix in a fight. Felix barely took two steps toward Sylvain before his nose wrinkled in disgust at the _smell_ lingering around Sylvain. He smelled like a sweaty sock and whatever omega he’d been tangled in all night, and it made Felix’s stomach roll.

“Fine, but only after you clean up,” Felix responded, “You _reek_.” Sylvain frowned slightly, lifting his shirt to his nose experimentally. Felix pinched his nostrils closed, trying to get the smell out of it.

“Alright, alright,” Sylvain sighed, “But you better still be here when I get back.” Felix rolled his eyes and didn’t bother responding. That _peacock_ could take all day cleaning himself up, and Felix wasn’t going to wait on him forever. He didn’t even want to. The smell of Sylvain had been so bad he had almost wanted to make a run for the hills. Sylvain usually smelled tolerable. Felix’s stomach rolled again at the smell that still lingered in the air. He had half a mind to just give up on trying to get anymore training in now that Sylvain had ruined it. 

By the time Felix was preparing to leave, Sylvain finally reappeared with a grin on his face, “You’re still here!” Sylvain looked like he might try to hug Felix, and Felix tried to keep himself from grimacing. He was hoping that they wouldn’t reencounter each other at all.

“I’m leaving,” Felix deadpanned, dodging Sylvain’s hug easily because Sylvain always telegraphed his movements clearly. It was the one thing about him that never really changed from when they were kids. 

“Awe, come on, Fe. Don’t leave me hanging,” Sylvain whined, and Felix glared at him.

“I waited. You’re just too late,” he responded stiffly and started to make his way out of the training grounds. Sylvain trailed behind him, clearly not one to give up even though he still hadn’t apologized for treating Felix the same way he treated every omega. With lines and fully intending to bed him and leave him. Felix’s fist clenched tightly with rage when he thought about it. It made him hate Sylvain just a little bit, and it hurt him deep down, even though he didn’t want to admit it.

“Then... Breakfast?” Sylvain asked with a lopsided grin, and Felix really wished he could find it in himself to forgive him.

“I’m taking a shower,” Felix responded, opening the door to the bath house. Sylvain stopped short, watching Felix disappear inside. The small sign clattering against the wood when the door swung shut, “β & Ω”. Sylvain sighed softly, running a hand through his hair. Felix had once again avoided him, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to even begin to explain or apologize for how he’d screwed up the last time they’d spoken.

* * *

“Of _course_ he doesn’t think you’re sincere,” Ingrid told Sylvain, rolling her eyes as hard as she possibly could for emphasis, “You’re the monastery's token hot rod. I wouldn’t believe you if I hadn’t known about this for years.”

“I don’t only go after omegas,” Sylvain grumbled, but that really wasn’t the point he should’ve been debating. Whether he was a hot rod or not, it didn’t change the fact that that was what everyone said he was. 

“Sure, sure,” Ingrid waved him off, “And I’m a beta.” It was clear Ingrid didn’t believe him, and Sylvain wasn’t in the mood to dispute labels. Ingrid shifted slightly, placing her bookmark into the book she had been reading, “So he blew you off then?”

“Well, not exactly. He just went into the bath house, where obviously I can’t follow him,” Sylvain responded, trying to lighten the implication of Ingrid’s words to himself as if that would make it hurt less. 

“You should have talked to him when he first got back,” Ingrid pointed out, letting him soften the blow for himself, “Like I told you to.” Sylvain looked away, shoulders slumping slightly.

"I didn't know what to _say_ ," he responded, clearly wallowing. Ingrid just sighed, shaking her head.

"You'll never know," she pointed out, "You just have to _try_." Sylvain opened his mouth to protest that there was no way trying would be enough if Felix had already decided he hated Sylvain, but no words came out. He knew Ingrid was right, but he didn't want her to be. Sylvain wanted there to be an easier way. Wished there was.

For Sylvain, it had always been easier to mask his own feelings and pretend to be carefree when the weight of his responsibilities were crushing him. He would rather be seen as a filthy philanderer than as he truly was. Broken. It was easy to find knot chasers to take back to his bed and forget for a while. He itched to do it again. Sylvain had done it for years now since he neared adulthood, and he knew his friends disapproved, but he _needed_ the escape in a way he didn't even know how to begin to explain. It was easier to fall back into old habits than to try for something he wanted for himself. 

Even if Felix was an omega, Sylvain knew that his parents would never approve. They wanted him to marry another alpha. Sylvain's parents were purists. After Miklan presented as an omega to the two alphas, they became even more intensely so, treating Miklan like he was somehow shameful and insisting Sylvain could only marry the best. They barely tolerated his "flings" because he never committed to them. Sylvain couldn't imagine how they might react to him saying he wanted to marry one. He had heard them mutter in disgust about nobles who "bred down" with omegas calling them "extinguishers" or other derogatory terms. Sylvain knew what kind of stock his parents were, and the thought of putting someone else through their sexism just didn't seem right. But maybe he was just too scared to stick up for himself.

Sylvain pulled at his red locks with a strained expression, "You really think that would work?" He had his doubts. They were too numerous to even begin to count. The idea that Felix might even be remotely interested in him seemed laughable at best. Ingrid reopened her book with a slight smile on her face.

"It might," she assured him. Sylvain ran his hands over his face, looking thoroughly exhausted. He didn't even know what to say, but he knew he certainly wasn't hopeful. Besides, he was already doubting the attempt was even worth it anymore.

* * *

"What do you think?" an alpha laughed, nudging his friend with an elbow. Felix shot a glare at them, hoping they would take their dithering elsewhere, but his look was barely even acknowledged.

"It's definitely a 4.4," the other one started with a smug expression, "Long, but not quite on Linhardt's level." Anger rushed through Felix. He _knew_ what they were talking about, and he wanted to cut them down more than anything. Felix's knuckles turned white over the hilt of the training sword as he turned towards them with a grimace on his face.

"What? You don't want us to take a bite of your neck, kindler?" The trio had the audacity to laugh at Felix as if he had somehow become weaker after presenting. Even going so far as to call him a _kindler_ , reducing him to nothing more than an omega in heat. It was bad enough that they were speculating after the length of his neck, but no, they had to add that cherry on top. Felix was going to end the three of them if it was the last thing he did. He threw a training sword at the one that looked like the leader with more force than necessary, but seeing him wince from catching it made it worth it. 

A hand was pressed to Felix's chest, keeping him from beating the alphas until he was fully satisfied. Byleth's hard gaze was directed towards the three alpha students however, and he looked angry to say the least. The whole room was beginning to smell like rage, and the three of them were cowering before him. 

"Go to my office," he growled with barely concealed rage. He barely glanced at Felix, merely squeezing his shoulder before herding the three away to meet their maker. Felix was left feeling angry and disappointed and with nowhere to direct his feelings. He almost wished Byleth hadn't intervened. Felix was nothing if not confident in his abilities with a sword in hand. 

"Hah, _alphas_ ," Dorothea spoke with venom, approaching Felix slowly. She was a beta, and every day she thanked her lucky stars for that fact. Dorothea clasped her hands in front of herself, evaluating Felix's emotional state.

"They really pissed you off, huh?" she sounded surprised. Felix had no clue. He thought it was expected of him to rise in anger at the smallest thing. He snorted in response, taking position in front of the training dummy again. Nothing like training to work through his emotions.

"Finally stopped smelling like puppy breath, and now they're all over you, huh?" Dorothea continued, mostly used to filling the air when she spoke to Felix. Felix didn't know why she bothered.

"Can't help themselves around a chance to climb the social ladder," Dorothea sighed. She sounded more tired than usual, and Felix would've been at least mildly concerned if he hadn't been feeling like a bottle about to explode. It was clear, though, that she was having a bad day.

"Do you need something?" Felix turned on her, his words full of acid and not like he had intended them. Dorothea didn't even bother looking offended. Instead, she smiled breezily at him.

"No," she stepped away, "See you later, Felix." Dorothea left him to his training in peace, and Felix couldn't be more relieved. Felix never wanted to be an omega, and he certainly hadn't wanted to talk about it. He still barely believed it himself.

* * *

It wasn’t a hard choice to switch classes. The Boar’s mask was slipping, and Felix knew deep down that it wasn’t going to get better. It helped that the skill set that Byleth had offered Felix the most opportunity to improve. Felix didn’t really think it was going to be a big deal, switching over to the Black Eagles. So many of the others were doing it as well. The same week he joined, Lysithea and Marianne did as well. 

It was a nice change of pace. Edelgard didn’t look at him with sympathy or pity, instead treating him like a person, like nothing had ever changed. It felt good to not be defined by the fact that he was an omega, and it made him wish Dimitri could take a note from her book. The class was a little more packed than it was with the Blue Lions, but he learned more. He was able to relax just a little bit more since he had returned from his break. The Black Eagles didn’t care about whether you were an alpha, beta or omega. They didn’t even care if you had a crest. Edelgard wanted everyone to live up to their potential and that was all. It was an easy enough banner to get behind for Felix. 

The following month, Ingrid and Annette joined the Black Eagles as well, and the three of them ended up sticking together for assignments a lot. The professor had all three of them learning magic, and Annette had a lot of good pointers for Ingrid and him, while Ingrid helped Annette with her riding and lance skills. None of them particularly realized that Byleth had them chasing a specific certification that she thought would be perfect for them. Weirdly, it was just fun. Felix hadn’t expected to have fun.

Flayn went missing and more of the students from the other houses switched over to the Black Eagles, including Ashe, Mercedes, Ignatz, and Lorenz. Felix was starting to wonder if Professor Byleth was just trying to amass all of the students into his house. It was almost unfair, considering how the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was going to have a clear disadvantage in numbers for the other two houses. 

Lectures were now so packed that Felix ended up just standing at the far wall instead of deciding to be a sardine along with the rest of the people who wanted to make use of the precious little table space that was available to them. Felix was beginning to wonder why Rhea wasn’t stopping Byleth. It couldn’t be good to have them all studying together like this. Yet somehow Byleth managed to keep everyone at similar levels and give them all plenty of opportunities to see combat even though she couldn’t take all of them along to the monthly missions. 

Felix didn’t think there was any possible way he could regret his decision to switch classes. He was getting so much more out of the Black Eagles than he ever would have in the Blue Lions.

* * *

Felix had gone two blissful months without a heat, and maybe that time had made him a bit complacent. The soft smell of pine needles was in the air, and he shuddered slightly as a roll of it ran through him. It was dark out in the training grounds, and Felix really shouldn't have been up that late, but he had been on a roll. Now he was truly regretting the decision as he staggered toward the door, clutching the sword at his belt for dear life and hoping it would be enough to protect himself. 

“Felix! Still training this late?” Sylvain greeted him from a fair distance away, clearly not able to smell him just yet, “Haven’t seen you since you switched over to the Black Eagles.” Felix grimaced, his heart racing in his chest as Sylvain drew closer. His hand slipping from where it had previously been on his sword. Somehow Sylvain had managed to show up at the absolute worst time for Felix, and he didn’t even know what to do. 

“I’ve missed you. We should finally have that sparring session you promised me,” Sylvain continued, and Felix’s mind was still racing for words. A part of him just wanted Sylvain to come a little _closer_ , for Sylvain to lose it over him and give him what his body so desperately craved. He wasn’t in the right place for this. His hands were shaking at his sides, and words remained just out of reach.

“Sylvain...” weakly tumbled from Felix’s mouth, his eyebrows drawing together into a scowl, “Stop.” Felix held his hands up, and Sylvain just looked confused and possibly a little bit concerned. Instead he moved a little faster to get to Felix until he froze as his eyes grew wide with realization. Felix took in a deep breath, his hand finding his sword again. He did his best to suppress the coil of desire and unadulterated _want_. Felix was staring directly at the alpha that plagued his thoughts through every single heat, and his resolve wavered for the barest of moments.

“Felix... you...” Sylvain was trembling. Felix could tell by the lustful gaze and heavy breaths Sylvain was taking that he had scented Felix and was barely maintaining control over himself. Felix touched the collar on his neck, just to make sure it was still there. He had never been this torn in his life before. The decision felt impossible to make and yet so obvious. Felix took a careful step toward Sylvain, who didn’t dare move an inch. He looked both terrified and so overcome with yearning. Felix could see Sylvain’s nostrils flaring as he drew closer, and he didn’t know what he was thinking as his hand slipped off the hilt of his sword to cup Sylvain’s chin.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Felix told Sylvain in a voice that shook. Felix didn’t even sound convinced of his own words. Sylvain gripped Felix’s hips in his hands _hard_ , and Felix knew he’d have bruises later, but it still sent a delicious trill up his spine. Sylvain didn’t even look like he was mentally present anymore. His eyes practically burned over Felix’s exposed skin, fingers passing over the collar with a strange gentleness. 

The logical part of Felix was screaming at him to stop, but he couldn’t make himself. Sylvain lifted Felix into his arms and quickly carried the both of them off to somewhere more private. They barely made it into Sylvain’s chosen spot, and he dumped Felix unceremoniously into the hay of an empty stall. Felix was breathing heavily, eyes searching Sylvain’s face as his pants grew impossibly tight around himself. His gaze dropped down to Sylvain’s pants and drew in a sharp breath at the size the bulge hinted at. 

Sylvain quickly untied and relieved Felix of his tight pants and underwear, teeth grazing over Felix’s soft, sensitive skin. Each touch was rushed and so full of fire, and Felix’s presence of mind was almost completely shot. His amber eyes watched Sylvain’s every move with such intensity as if making an attempt to memorize every moment, every peek of Sylvain’s freckled skin, and the burning path he tread across Felix’s skin. 

Sylvain pressed warm, loving kisses to the expanse of Felix’s pale stomach, drawing a line down to where his hands were just beginning to explore. Felix was already hopelessly wet and dripping and much too impatient for the form of worship Sylvain was attempting to show him. Felix didn’t dare open his mouth though as if it might shatter the moment, clear the haze of alpha instincts over Sylvain’s eyes, and take him away from him. No, Felix wished Sylvain would dare to mark him up, treat him roughly, and make it clear who he belonged to. It was what Felix longed for more than anything. The haze of his heat only made him want it _more_.

Fingers pressed between Felix’s ass cheeks, swirling in the slick and teasing the tight bud for just a moment. Soft, stilted noises passed between Felix’s lips, and he could barely believe how much he wanted this. The desperation so strong that he thought for a moment, he saw that same kind of desire in Sylvain’s eyes when theirs met. Sylvain’s finger pushed into his ready hole, and Felix tried to swallow the groan that bubbled in his chest. Sylvain’s fingers were bigger than his own and felt much better inside of him, like that was where they were supposed to be. Felix almost sobbed at the thought. 

Sylvain leaned back up to Felix, his teeth finding the leather of Felix’s collar and biting desperately. He was so excited, he couldn’t contain the desperate need to mark Felix up anymore. Felix gasped, hips jutting up against Sylvain. He could feel Sylvain’s teeth bruising him through the leather, and his heart pounded in his chest as he wished for a moment that the collar wasn’t separating them. He wanted Sylvain to truly tie him to him. He needed it in a way he didn’t even dare to begin to ponder. 

Felix’s hand found Sylvain’s brilliantly red hair, burying his fingers into the soft locks almost encouraging Sylvain to keep biting into the leather. The small hope that he might just gnaw his way through it. A second finger joined his first inside Felix, and Felix’s hips rocked desperately against each confident thrust inside him. Breathing came shakily through his lungs as he could barely think. All he could think was: _Sylvain, Sylvain, Sylvain,_ like a broken record. His other hand held onto Sylvain’s shirt tightly. 

Felix was impatient. His hands found the laces of Sylvain’s pants, pulling and tugging until they were loose enough for him to pull out Sylvain. His hands ran over the hard heat clumsily, feeling the already forming knot at the base of Sylvain’s cock. The thought sent a coil of heat to the pit of Felix’s stomach. He licked his lips. He couldn’t wait any longer. Felix pulled away from Sylvain’s fingers, pushing the alpha beneath him. His hair had come out of its band at some point, and now fell over his shoulders, mixed with bits of straw. 

Sylvain stared up at Felix as if in awe as Felix mounted him with a low whine, barely pushing the tip of him inside. Felix was certainly pushing his limits, but that was what he wanted. He hadn’t wanted it to feel like an intimate, love-making session like Sylvain seemed strangely determined to do. No, he wanted Sylvain to take him like he was no one and nothing. He wanted it to hurt less later when he thought about it. 

Felix met Sylvain’s eyes, his own bleary with unfallen tears as his hips slowly brought Sylvain to hilt inside him. A trembling breath fell from Felix’s lips as he reveled in the feeling of being so full that it was almost painful. Sylvain’s hands squeezed at the tender spot his hands had made earlier on Felix’s hips, urging him to move, and Felix pressed a hand to Sylvain’s chest before he finally began to. 

Felix quickly became undone above Sylvain, his arms trembling as soft, wanton noises escaped him with every thrust. Sylvain moved faster and faster, hitting a spot inside of Felix that made him see stars and everything feel positively incredible. He was so full of Sylvain he could hardly breathe, and his mind was begging for him to be bred as thoroughly as he could be. If Felix hadn’t been in heat, he would be wondering what was wrong with him.

He stared at Sylvain, his gaze so full of passion and want, and Sylvain pulled Felix down into him. Felix’s hands gripped at the straw as their lips met in a clash of teeth and warmth. Their kisses were messy and spurred on by their concupiscence. It didn’t mean anything. Felix wanted nothing more than for the moment to never end. He felt so complete and full. He had exactly what his heat wanted the most. 

Felix gasped quietly, as he met the height of his pleasure and spilled it out over Sylvain’s shirt. Whimpers and wordless begging followed every thrust Sylvain made after until he finally pulled out to release just outside of Felix, surprising him. Felix panted softly, not daring to meet Sylvain’s eyes as he laid there for a moment longer, waiting for Sylvain to pass out, before finally hurrying out to the bath house, a tight coil of regret replacing the lust he had been feeling moments ago.

* * *

Felix had been taking pregnancy tests every week thanks to his newly found anxiety. What had happened with Sylvain had been a mistake. There was no other way to look at it. Even if it was because of his heat or whatever other excuse he tried to tell himself, it was clear that both of them had been present of mind enough to not let it happen. 

Felix couldn’t stop thinking about it either. Things were happening around the school, and something was _happening_ , but Felix couldn’t spare any thoughts to it. He was too wrapped up in his own pregnancy scare to even conceptualize what might be happening. Luckily for him, no one seemed to notice he was more grumpy than usual, or maybe it was just everyone was too lost in their own problems to even notice. 

So far they’d all come back negative, but it had been only two weeks, so they were really more to soothe his own anxiety as opposed to actually being able to tell him anything. The old beta woman who ran the store looking pityingly at him every time he came back for another, often giving him some sweets or something to cheer him up. It would’ve been effective if he’d liked sweet things, but he supposed it was the thought that counted. Felix didn't know how else to calm himself about it, and each one had to be carefully hidden so no one could possibly find it. Felix almost wished he'd have another surprise heat to calm his nerves over the whole incident. 

The collar he wore that night still had indents from Sylvain's teeth, and he couldn't wear it anymore. He'd had to get another, and that had been the least of his worries. Instead, he stared at the collar sometimes; late at night when he was feeling wistful, running his fingers over each tooth mark and wishing there had been love behind each one instead of lust. Felix would have been more ashamed of this, but he was finding himself less and less concerned with the feeling. It was hard to feel shameful about things when simply breathing was considered shameful of an omega.

* * *

"Did something happen to Sylvain?" Annette asked suddenly, approaching Ingrid with furrowed brows. Ingrid quirked an eyebrow in question.

"What do you mean?"

Annette sighed, crossing her arms as she collected her thoughts, "Well... He didn't flirt with me at all when we talked a minute ago. In fact, he looked a little out of it." Now Ingrid seemed intrigued, but Felix was mostly just trying to ignore their conversation and failing. The textbook just wasn't grasping his attention the way he wished it would.

"Now that you mention it... I haven't had to clean up one of his messes in over a week," Ingrid responded thoughtfully. She didn't seem to think it meant much, and Felix honestly had no clue what to think about that. 

"Maybe he finally got his heart broken," Annette theorized, looking more than a little amused with the thought. Felix scoffed at that, rolling his eyes a little. Ingrid glanced at him in surprise. She probably hadn't realized he was listening with how intensely he'd been staring at his book.

"I highly doubt that," Ingrid started, frowning slightly, "It would be nice though." Annette agreed, and they finally dropped the conversation, allowing Felix to finally focus back on his studies.

* * *

"You're up late." Felix stiffened at the voice, pulling his eyes away from the textbook to look over in the direction the voice had come from. Maybe Felix had relaxed too much, considering Sylvain had been keeping a respectful distance since their... Felix didn't know what to call it.

"Studying too? I never expected you to pick up anything other than swords," Sylvain gave a lopsided grin as he glanced over the book Felix had in front of him. Felix glared at him.

"I am not as single minded as you," Felix responded, picking up his textbook and intending to hurry off to his room now that his concentration had been ruined. He didn't want to be around Sylvain a moment longer, the knot of anxiety already forming in his gut. Sylvain merely chuckled in response, letting the insult roll off his back.

“The professor has me studying the same book too. We should study together sometime,” Sylvain continued, “Maybe help each other out.” Felix set his jaw in a firm line. There was no way he would even consider the idea. He could already tell this was one of Sylvain’s pick up attempts. So he really was just like any other omega in Sylvain’s eyes now.

“No thanks, peacock,” Felix growled, sending a glare at Sylvain and hoping it would be enough to get him to back off. 

“Alright,” Sylvain responded, lifting his hands in mock surrender but still managing to keep a cocky smile on his face, “Your loss.” Felix was beginning to feel infuriated. He didn’t know what he saw in this oaf, but he was hoping he would stop seeing it soon. Sylvain really had become a good for nothing. Felix stormed off, leaving Sylvain behind him. He couldn’t stand being there a moment longer.

* * *

Several things had happened, and they set an unsettling precedent for what was likely to come. With Edelgard and Hubert leaving so often, there was no way everyone in the Black Eagles house didn't have a clue. The professor's hair and eyes color had changed even. Things were not normal anymore, and that kept a nervous coil in the pit of Felix's stomach. The future was becoming unclear, and yet, he somehow knew he would follow the professor more willingly than the Boar.

Perhaps it was because of the stress getting to him, he ended up in yet another vulnerable situation. His heat had returned, much to his relief and dismay. At least he wasn't carrying a baby. That was his only solace in it's return that evening. He sat in the back of the library between stacks of books someone had left out earlier, drawing in slow, painful breaths. He noticed the faint smell of pine again this time, but shook his head to clear it. He had to be going crazy. This one came on so much stronger than the last one, and his knees felt like jelly. Felix was sure he wouldn't be able to stand. Even though he was in a more secluded part of the library late at night where he was unlikely to encounter anyone, he was terrified. He wasn't sure he had the strength in his buzzing, loose limbs to fend off an alpha, or even if he'd _want_ to, as disgusting as that thought was.

Felix squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the click of boot heels over the wood. His heart was racing, and for a moment he thought he smelled pine needles. He gripped the hilt of his sword tightly and finally pried an eye open to look around the ill lit library. A large figure was slowly moving toward him with hands held up as if they were afraid of spooking him.

"Felix?" came Sylvain's voice, and the sound of him drifted to him like sweet honey. Of course it was Sylvain who found him like this again. It was like the goddess had it out for him or something. He almost wanted to cry from both the irony and the way his body just collapsed into indescribable want for Sylvain when he was like this. He released a trembling breath.

"Stay back," he finally spoke, attempting to lower his voice to a growl but instead it came out as a wanton whine, and Felix wanted to be executed on the spot. Sylvain stopped a fair distance away, but Felix could tell he could already smell Felix's heat in the air. It was only a matter of time before he lost his sense of self. He was always just a little too late.

Felix was trembling, and the nostalgic smell he had caught before was back. It took a moment for him to realize it was Sylvain's scent. He hadn't really noticed it last time in the haze of their previous encounter, but it was so _strong_ this time. It called to him in a way he couldn't put words too. Primal emotions stirred in his gut, telling him he needed Sylvain more than anyone else. More than any other alpha. Something deep down inside of him had broken.

"Felix... I-" Sylvain swallowed, his eyes were hazy with lust. Felix trembled, lips falling ever so slightly apart around words that died in his throat. He didn't know how to voice his need, his desperation. He couldn't stand how far away Sylvain was anymore. He needed him to touch him _now_.

A low whine of desperation and impatience left Felix's lips, and the rest of Sylvain's resolve snapped. He was over Felix in moments, pulling Felix into a deep, feverish kiss. Everything about Sylvain was so different from the last time. He was frantic above Felix as if Felix's heat was affecting him more this time as well. Sylvain wasted no time freeing Felix of his pants, biting his way into Felix's mouth at the same time. Felix was dizzy and overwhelmed by his fervor. 

When Sylvain pulled away, Felix was left breathless and gazing through long lashes at Sylvain who wasted only a moment taking the sight in. His hands splayed over the smooth skin of Felix's thighs, rubbing and inching deeper by the second. Felix's hips bucked as one of his hands found his wet entrance. Felix gasped softly, hips lifting and his eyes fluttering at the sensational feeling. His lips formed a soft "O" but remained soundless as his warm amber eyes met the dark honey of Sylvain's. 

"You're beautiful, Fe," Sylvain whispered in a broken tone that showed he had never meant for the words to fall between them. Felix wished he couldn't believe in those pretty words as Sylvain pressed his first finger inside him. It already wasn't enough. Felix wanted Sylvain to move faster as his desperation grew closer to reaching its head. Sylvain was soon pushing another finger in, trying to match Felix's desperate enthusiasm. His eyes were dark with an unreadable expression, and Felix wished for a moment he could know what went on inside of Sylvain's head.

Soon two became three, and Felix was so wet that he would be more than ready for Sylvain in a few steady thrusts inside his twitching hole. Felix's precum dripped onto his disheveled white button down, and to Sylvain, he was something of a sight to behold. Felix reached up toward Sylvain, his fingers tangling themselves in his messy red locks. His eyes pierced through Sylvain with such an intense expression, full of a wordless demand that Sylvain could only oblige.

Sylvain pulled his fingers out and forced his pants down, his cock already fully erect and unbearably ready to take Felix in the quiet library as if it were somewhere as private as a bedroom. Sylvain almost wished it was because then, maybe he could claim Felix as his own and tie them together just like they promised they would be as children. Instead, this whole thing was unplanned and unintentional. It could've been anyone with Felix right then, and that knowledge hurt him like nothing else ever would. Sylvain knew he could never have Felix, but that didn't stop him from dreaming of the possibility. The unobtainable future.

He pressed into Felix's tight whole with a low groan, instincts instantly kicking in, and his teeth sunk into the leather collar Felix always diligently wore. The only thing separating them from becoming fully connected. Sylvain whined softly in his throat as he pushed himself completely inside of Felix's tight hole. Felix trembled beneath him, his fingers tightening on the hair at Sylvain's nape. Felix couldn't believe how good Sylvain felt inside of him. So perfect. For a dizzying moment, he thought they were made perfectly for one another like a desperate sap. 

Sylvain bit at Felix's collar like a feral alpha with every few thrusts like he was desperate to lay claim to him. Felix almost wished he could, wished his teeth would tear the thick leather apart and lay claim to him like he so deserved. Felix's eyes widened as he felt Sylvain's knot beginning to form, trying to tie the two of them together. Felix was even more surprised by how much he wanted that. His voice slipping from his lips in a steady stream, sounding needy and so blessedly pleased. Felix almost believed there was nothing more that he wanted than to be filled up and bred so thoroughly by Sylvain. Marked and claimed like the filthy omega he was, Sylvain gave it to him like he knew what every pleading sound from Felix's lips mapped it out clearly for him.

Felix was seeing stars behind his eyelids, his back arched as he gripped so tightly to Sylvain the world breaking apart around him as he reached his climax, spilling all over himself as Sylvain continued to lay claim to him, his knot growing thicker and thicker inside of him. Felix couldn't hold the louder cries that left his lips from the oversensation at the feeling. He was stuffed so full, and the world was spinning. Felix was lost so completely in the moment that he almost didn't notice when Sylvain pushed in for a final time, filling him so wonderfully with his hot seed. Felix trembled, still holding on tight to Sylvain's shoulders, and the tear tracks on his cheeks were so clearly visible. His mind was still hazy with his heat, and Sylvain smelled of warm pine and safety. Felix wished he could know this warmth forever, but like all good things, it didn't last. 

* * *

Felix stared across the encampment at Sylvain. They were about to face the Knight's of Seiros in battle, and he couldn't be more nervous about the upcoming battle. He wouldn't be able to return home to Farghus after this, would he? Most of his friends were here; actually almost all of the students had sided with the professor. Felix might've been surprised by this, but honestly, nothing about the professor could really surprise him anymore.

His eyes drifted away from Sylvain, finding Ingrid pacing. She looked distressed and unsure of her decision, but before he could even think about moving to speak to her one last time before they headed out, the professor was there. His eyes turned back to Sylvain. Felix didn't know why he kept looking his way. They hadn't spoken since the night in the library, and it had barely been a week since then. Felix still regretted it.

His hands tightened into fists at his sides. He didn't have time to think about this. They were headed into war, and Felix needed to focus on that now. The professor was headed toward him now, and Felix still couldn't get used to that green hair and eyes he now had. He looked resolved, but also a little concerned for Felix as he approached.

After speaking to the professor, he felt less conflicted, but his reasoning felt weak at best. Forging his own path? Felix shook his head lightly, gripping his sword tightly. He hoped he wouldn't live to regret this.


	2. Owning Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just about done with the next part, so here's this one!
> 
> *
> 
> “ _ Gone now are the old times _ _   
>  _ _ Forgotten, time to hold on the railing _ _   
>  _ _ The Rubik's Cube isn't solving for us _ _   
>  _ _ Old friends, long forgotten _ __   
>  _ The old ways at the bottom of _ _   
>  _ __ The ocean now has swallowed ”
> 
> \- “Ode to the Mets” by The Strokes

It was a dark, rainy evening. Felix had no clue what to do or where to go when he ran out into the night. He had been trying to convince himself that what was happening wasn’t happening, and now it was simply too late to do anything about it. He could no longer hide the changes that were happening to his body or the fact that he hadn’t gone into heat for several moons now. So he ran. 

Felix packed a few things and took a horse out into the stormy night when no one would notice him hurrying about, already tucked in to weather out the storm. It had been the only time for him to go. His mind was so full of many things, and he had no clue where he was even headed. He just knew he had to leave. He had made a mistake. Several mistakes. All of them were Sylvain related, and he just didn’t know what to do.

It was no surprise that one stressful week later of wandering, he found himself at the Galatea home in search of the only person who would know what he should do. Traveling so far with so little had done no favors for his health, and he found his stomach rolling almost constantly. He was almost too afraid to eat a thing for fear he might return it to the ground. His horse was tired, and he was more tired than he’d ever been in his life. He needed something to change. Felix knew Ingrid had gone home to try to convince her father to back Edelgard. He just hoped she hadn't given up yet.

The Count happily allowed him entry upon confirming who he was, fetching Ingrid quickly with the sort of grin that made Felix think he was hoping Felix had come with the promise of wedding bells in Ingrid’s future. Unfortunately he had not. Felix was thankful his cloak hid his shape because he knew they would not have been as welcoming if they knew his predicament. If they were aware of what kind of shameful omega had happened upon their doorstep. 

“Felix?” Ingrid had hurried to meet him. He could tell by the messy braid her hair was barely combed into. Felix turned to her, relief filling him for just a moment. He couldn’t say anything in her family’s parlor like this. 

“Can we...” he swallowed a breath tightly, “Speak somewhere more private?” Ingrid seemed to pick up on his distress and hurried to pull him away to a sitting room that she could keep her family from eavesdropping on. Their mansion was sparsely decorated, reflective of her family’s meager funds. Felix began to feel bad for bringing this to Ingrid’s doorstep. It wasn’t that he wasn’t aware of their situation, but more of that it wasn’t on the forefront of his mind. However, seeing it all firsthand changed things. Once they were finally behind closed doors, Felix could feel his eyes already burning with shame. 

“I... I don’t know what to do,” he whispered, his voice near a sob. He hadn’t even begun to explain what was going on to Ingrid, and her expression had moved to one of shock. Felix hadn’t gotten this emotional in front of anyone in such a long time, but there was no avoiding it now. He had met a problem he simply couldn’t fight alone. He didn’t even know how to talk about it, near shivering at the thought of admitting it, like the emotionally constipated man he was becoming. 

“Fe-Felix!” Ingrid gripped his hands tightly in her own, her eyes searching his expression, “What’s going on?” Felix took in a shuddering breath, steeling himself once more. He had to face this, no matter how much he wished he could just ignore the problem. He gently pulled his hands from Ingrid’s, carefully unclasping his cloak and removing it. The smooth rounding of his belly was clear through the soft, white tunic he wore. Ingrid’s eyes grew wide with surprise. Felix’s shoulders trembled.

“Whose...?” her voice scarcely above a whisper. Felix wasn’t ready for this conversation, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be. He was going to try though. He had to come completely clean with Ingrid if she was ever going to consider helping him. He was, after all, asking a lot. Ingrid would have to give up trying to convince her father to become a turn coat. She would have to accept losing them forever sooner, even though she had always known just a little bit that she would have to, in the end.

“I made a mistake,” Felix started in a small voice, wishing for the comfort of Ingrid’s hands on his own again. Instead, he gripped his cloak tightly in front of himself as if trying to hide his shame. Maybe he was. 

“I should’ve-” he breathed in deeply, trying so hard not to cry, “I should’ve known better. I should’ve done better.” Ingrid was beginning to look like she might cry too, but was somehow holding stronger than Felix. Ingrid was always the strongest of all of his childhood friends, the most well adapted to all the misgivings that had been slung their way. Felix almost wished he could’ve been a better friend to her. He would be if she did this for him. He had to honor the sacrifice she was making for him.

“Please, Ingrid.  _ Please _ help me,” Felix puttered between reticent sobs, “Sylvain can’t- he  _ can’t  _ know he’s-” He couldn’t even say it. He couldn’t even admit that little bit. He was barely dealing with this. He had been only forcing himself to face it for a week, and it already wasn’t going well. Tears spilled through his eyes that he had squeezed shut. Ingrid pulled Felix into a tight hug, her hands shaking as she held him. Still, she gently rubbed his back, soothing him in ways he didn’t even know was possible.

“It’s ok,” she murmured, “We’ll figure this out.” She promised like the absolute saint she was, and Felix let himself cry a little bit longer with his face pressed into her shoulder and his own shoulders shaking with each ugly noise. He finally began to feel like it might just turn out ok. 

When he finally was able to draw a normal breath, he met Ingrid’s tearful green eyes with his own bleary ones, tired but feeling leagues better, “Would you come with me to Garreg Mach?” He didn’t know if he could expect Ingrid to agree, but they had friends there who were present of mind. They both hadn’t heard from Dimitri since the collapse, but he knew he was playing at being King under Rhea's thumb; maybe he had even snapped, showing everyone his true colors. He could only hope that Ingrid could see that, even if reluctantly. Ingrid’s face was drawn as she considered his words. They had pulled apart several moments ago, but Ingrid still held his hands in her own, her thumb gliding back and forth at a soothing pace. 

“Alright,” she finally spoke, meeting his eyes. Her resolve was expressed clearly by her set shoulders, but she couldn’t mask the anxiety that swirled in her eyes. Felix was sure he looked much the same, but it was a relief to have her on his side. Even if she would be the only one. 

“You’re...” Felix started, struggling to get the words out, “You’re a good friend.” Ingrid smiled at him.

“I know,” she responded, and Felix began to feel much more at ease. Finally the nightmare seemed to have an end within reach.

* * *

They had packed Felix’s horse and Ingrid’s pegasus again for travel as much as they could bear to take. Felix at least learned how to use a bow at the behest of the professor, and now he was thankful for the skill, since it made food less of a problem for them on their way. The old leather of Felix’s collar itched at his skin, and their days without a proper wash beyond a wet rag across their skin was starting to get at Felix. His morning sickness had worsened, and he wondered if he was even consuming enough to provide for the growth in his stomach. 

It was slow going along the border between Faerghus and the Leicester Alliance, but traveling over the mountains towards Charon and the Garreg Mach was safer than taking the roads where they might be recognized or encounter soldiers, questioning their travel plans. The problem instead was supplies. It was nearing the end of spring, and the temperature was fluctuating wildly between unbearably hot to almost chilly all across Fodlan, but in the mountains where Ingrid and Felix were, it was always just cold. 

“Are you sure we should go to Garreg Mach?” Ingrid spoke after a long moment. Felix wiped his mouth with a handkerchief, staring at the ground for a moment as he tried to stop feeling so nauseous for just a moment.

"Yes," he answered, running a hand over the soft bulge of his stomach. He couldn't feel anything in there yet; it was too early for that, but he was getting there. Something about that made him all kinds of nervous. 

"I'm sure Edelgard- I mean, Her Majesty- would forgive you for taking a leave of absence or something," Ingrid started on the argument Felix was sure they had had too many times already. He would not budge on this one.

"I promised the professor," he started, and the argument was a weak one. One his younger self would've teared into someone for making. Promises and loyalty, he spat on those ideals once and here he was, becoming a hypocrite for wanting to keep a promise to their likely dead professor.

"My sword will help Edelgard forge this future," he continued seriously. Ingrid sighed, shaking her head.

"The war isn't going anywhere," she responded, and almost continued into what she had found to be taboo topics, Sylvain and Dimitri. Sylvain was with Dimitri then too, serving as a spy for Edelgard. He had been eager to do so, perhaps grabbing at any task to stow his grief over the professor away. Ingrid wasn't sure that it had been a good thing to send him to Fhirdiad, but only time would tell.

Felix mounted his horse, mouth in a firm line for a moment before he finally spoke, "I won't change my mind." Ingrid sighed but stopped pushing the issue as well, and Felix could only take it as a small victory.

It took another week before they could see Garreg Mach just on the horizon. Empire soldiers patrolled the area heavily, and it was not easy for Felix and Ingrid to get in unnoticed, afraid that their Faerghus blues would have them in chains faster than they could say "Edelgard". Felix struggled with his nausea, unsure if he was hungry or just sick of being on top of the horse. They were almost there though, and Felix was getting more nervous by the second.

"Halt!" A voice came from behind them, and Ingrid turned her pegasus quickly to face the small patrol group, holding her hands up high so they could see she wasn't raising arms against them.

"I am Ingrid Brandl Galatea, and this is Felix Hugo Fraldarius. We have returned to fight at Her Majesty's side," Ingrid declared loudly and clearly. Felix gripped the reins to his horse tightly, afraid of a fight. 

"We'll have to take you in and check with Marquis Vestra that what you say is true before we can allow you entry into the monastery," the leader of the patrol spoke in a stern voice. Ingrid nodded lightly.

"Of course," she responded with a smile, and they allowed themselves to be led to the monastery surrounded by Imperial soldiers. The sun was sinking low by the time they were finally allowed entry and brought before Edelgard, who sat waiting for them in an office.

"Welcome back, Ingrid... Felix," Edelgard rose from her chair, nodding to the both of them as she said their names, "I wasn't sure you two would return. I thought you might join Sylvain in Fhirdiad." Felix visibly stiffened at the mention of Sylvain, and Edelgard noticed but didn't show her interest in the expression on her face, which was lukewarm at best. She was clearly still distraught like the rest of them at the disappearance of their professor.

"We have some... unexpected circumstances," Ingrid started stiffly, glancing at Felix, who nodded slightly and gave Ingrid all the permission she needed to speak of Felix's current state. He knew he wouldn't be able to say it himself, even after all this time. Edelgard motioned for them to sit.

"Tea?" she asked, raising a hand toward Hubert, who moved to bring the set over. The water clearly had already been prepared.

"Yes, please, " Ingrid smiled, glancing nervously at Felix.

"I'll pass," he responded stiffly, still working on removing his cloak before sitting. Ingrid could tell he was nervous despite how many times they'd talked about this. Felix finally removed it, and Edelgard gasped, unable to stop herself. Felix glanced at her, his cheeks already pink with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. He quickly sat down, hiding his belly behind the lip of the table.

"I suppose our circumstances are now a bit more obvious now," Ingrid started, taking the steaming cup of Bergamot tea. The faint smell of citrus floated to her nose from the black tea. It certainly wasn't Ingrid's favorite tea, but it had its merits. 

"Yes," Edelgard said a little unsteadily, her eyes drifting back and forth between the two of them as if she didn't know who to look at. Hubert, however, managed to look unaffected the entire time. Felix stared straight ahead at nothing in particular, and Ingrid took a sip of the hot tea to calm her nerves.

"It's not my baby," Ingrid started, setting the cup gently back onto its plate, "But I would like for everyone to think it is. It may be easier that way." Felix looked over at Ingrid in surprise. They hadn't discussed this at all, and Ingrid could tell he was upset with her for not mentioning this before.

"So it  _ is _ Sylvain's then," Hubert spoke suddenly with a slight smirk on his face. Edelgard sent him a stern look in response, and he immediately apologized and excused himself.

"It is," Ingrid sighed, curling her shaking fingers around the porcelain cup again, "However, he doesn't know that." 

"Do you two intend to stay here?" Edelgard asked, sipping her tea daintily. 

"Yes, we will fight for you as promised," Ingrid smiled, trying to hold back a sigh of exasperation. She wished Felix had wanted to hide out in Enbarr where it was safer for the budding life inside of him, but there was no changing the stubborn man's mind.

"Alright," Edelgard assented, setting her cup down gently, "Felix, you will not fight until the doctors give you clearance after your child is born, but Ingrid, I have need for a strong pegasus rider like you on the field, but I'll try not to send you out too often." Ingrid let out a sigh of relief and the two of them were finally given leave. Once the doors were shut behind them, Felix whirled on Ingrid.

“You didn’t tell me any of that,” he hissed, clearly irritated with her for making that decision on her own even if it did relax him just a little to know he wouldn’t have to explain away how he had gotten himself knocked up, “What if one of them have  _ red _ hair?” His voice dropped well below a whisper at that part of the sentence, and Ingrid shrugged.

“I have brothers and cousins with red hair. It happens, especially with Faerghus nobles,” she responded easily. Ingrid seemed completely unconcerned with this detail, and deep down Felix knew it was highly unlikely that either child looked much unlike him considering the dominance of black hair in his family line. Felix continued to seethe though as they made their way through the monastery halls to find a room to claim as theirs. 

* * *

Felix was laying in bed as Mercedes poured the goddess’s light over him for his first official check up on the stirrings in his belly. He was much further along now, and though there was no way to hide it before, Felix was beginning to feel akin to a wyvern lumbering about on its claws. Mercedes cooed over him, smiling brightly at every little thing she checked over with her magic. Felix didn’t know whether to be nervous or excited about what she had to stay and struggled to keep his expression neutral.

“Well, they’re both very healthy,” she grinned at him, “How wonderful. I’m so glad you let me be your nurse for this, Felix.” Felix was staring at her with wide eyes afraid to open his mouth.

“Both?” he forced out in a harsher tone than he’d intended, but Mercedes merely giggled in response, looking quite pleased.

“Yes. There’s two of them,” she answered with her usual gentleness, “You should be careful with your health. Two babies can be hard on the body.” Felix nodded slightly, and Mercedes clapped her hands together cheerfully. 

“Perfect! I’ll check in again on them in a couple of weeks,” she smiled brightly at Felix before leaving him alone in his room. Ingrid was off on the battlefield, but Felix strangely had no shortage of visitors. Annette often checked in on him and brought a few of the others along with her to have impromptu tea parties in his room ever since Felix had been told to stay inside as his health had declined. Hubert even dropped by once to deliver a set of cribs that were “courtesy of Edelgard”. Mercedes, Annette and Ashe were probably more excited about the babies than Felix ever thought he could be, and Bernadetta gifted him with several handmade clothes and blankets at random, some essentially tossed in his face before she made a mad getaway while apologizing for the trouble. Felix never thought any of the things she brought were a trouble though. He had a feeling he would never understand her, but he was starting to appreciate how she tried. 

Felix’s room had become disorderly at best. He didn’t exactly have space for all of the things that had slowly accumulated in there and standing up for very long usually brought on unmanageable dizzy spells that brought him immediately to a seat. He hadn’t fainted yet, and he had no plans on exacerbating the situation either. As his belly swelled, his thoughts drifted more to Sylvain, who was in Fhirdiad and completely unaware. Felix sometimes wondered what he would think if he thought Felix and Ingrid were about to have a set of twins together, or maybe how he would react. Felix also liked to think that Sylvain would see them and just  _ know _ they were his and not Ingrid’s. 

Felix tried not to stress about things. Even though it was so easy. He didn’t know the first thing about children, and he had nothing to do all day but read more and more books. It was all becoming a bit overwhelming as the time approached. Mercedes had declared that his labor would start “any day now”, and Felix would be lying if he said he was calm. His nesting desires were flaring up so badly that he was finding himself sitting in chairs near the cribs constantly or fussing over a broom, trying to organize and store everything efficiently. It was just impossible though with how tired he was now, passing out for naps at least twice a day and crying over the tiny clothes Bernadetta had made. Her creations eventually inspired a flurry of items from Mercedes because she couldn’t be out done, and even Annette had tried her hand at a few barely salvageable pieces. 

Felix was terrible at handicrafts himself, his foray into crocheting creating several pairs of oddly shaped booties and mittens, but he made more anyway because he would’ve died of boredom otherwise. Mercedes commented that he made an alluringly domestic image when he worked that she wished she could show to Ingrid. At some point, Mercedes dragged Ignatz in to paint the scene, and Felix had begrudgingly allowed it, scowling the entire time. Ignatz had somehow captured a soft expression on Felix’s face that he didn’t even remember making, and the painting had looked rather nice. The thought affected him in a way that he didn’t know how to deal with. He was starting to feel hopeful that he would like the two swimmers inside of him that only knew how to wreak havoc inside him.

Felix had never spent so much time around any of them before, and surprisingly, he found he had been missing out quite a bit on the friendships he could’ve had if he hadn’t been so single minded on training back in his Academy days. Maybe pregnancy was making him more soft hearted, but Felix was starting to enjoy seeing all of them rotate in and out of his room at an almost constant rate. He was changing, and hopefully it was for the better. His sharp words were losing their edge. 

* * *

Labor was awful and unspeakably painful, even with Mercedes doing everything she could to ease the process along. Felix was in the infirmary for hours, and the process wasn’t easy, and it didn’t go smoothly, but eventually it was over. Both babies were on the outside of him, washed up, and tucked into him. His babies.

The moment he heard the first cry, his entire world shifted. He needed to hold them, panic filling him as they were handled gently by the clerics under Manuela’s watchful eyes. He couldn’t breathe when they were taken away, even with Ingrid trying her best to soothe him, promising they would be back soon. They needed him, and he needed them just as badly. Felix needed to have them at his side. 

The moment they were back in his arms, he was beyond relieved. Mercedes telling him and Ingrid they were perfectly healthy, a boy and girl pair. Their deep blue eyes and squished, fat faces stared up at Felix, and he cried at the sight of them. The girl with pale, white tufts of hair on her head, and the boy with black. He named them Cerise and Merle, and they were his whole world now. 

* * *

Felix hadn’t had any good rest in weeks. He could barely stand to shuffle around with his mangled body, eventually giving up and keeping the twin screamers tucked up at his bedside with diapers to ease the process. Ingrid was gone again, and handling the two of him on his own was a trial that compared to no other. It wasn’t like Ingrid was constantly with Felix when she was in Garreg Mach, but she helped as much as she could, often looking more at a loss than Felix when she tried to handle either of them, but any bit came at great relief to Felix, who spent most of his downtime sleeping or pressing hot towels to his aching chest to help ease his milk out into hungry, screaming mouths that sometimes didn’t even realize that Felix was trying to  _ feed _ them if only they would latch on.

Felix was tired, and his scathing words were back, possibly with more venom than before, but still Mercedes and Annette tried to visit. Lysithea sometimes came by to hold one, staring with tears in her eyes as if she was looking at something she could never have for herself. Felix didn’t dare ask about it. The oddest visitor he received was Hapi, who he didn’t particularly mind stopping by. She had good control over her sighs, and the way that she grinned at Cerise, who now had red hair just like Hapi, made him think there was never a possibility of her sighing anyway with the twins cooing and screaming, often on separate timers. 

“How have you not gone crazy with these two yet?” Hapi asked, her finger had been stolen by Cerise and was being sucked on lazily. Felix almost sighed, but he had a bit of a conscience and held it in.

“I’m already crazy,” he responded, giving his hair the brush it had been needing for a few days now. He wasn’t sure when the last time he had run a comb through the tangled mess of midnight hair. Hapi smiled at that.

“You definitely look the part,” she laughed. Felix’s lips quirked slightly with the ghost of a tired smile. He had been surprised by how easy it was to get along with Hapi. She had a very blunt personality, something he liked in a person he had found. 

“Cerise has really taken to you,” Felix commented, changing the subject and lifting a crying Merle in his arms to be shushed gently. The room was the very picture of chaos, and Felix wished he had the energy to clean it up more considering the number of visits he was starting to get with how the twins had calmed down in the past couple of months, becoming more interested in doggy paddling or rolling across the soft blankets Felix had laid on the floor for them. Merle had a particular love of faces while Cerise preferred to roll and swim on the floor. 

“She’s bad at picking friends,” Hapi said, but she was smiling at Cerise who grinned back. Felix glanced down at Merle finally sleeping again, and deposited him in the crib gently. Hapi handed Cerise back to Felix and left with a short goodbye, and Felix felt a bit tired. He yawned, and Cerise stared up at him with brown tinted eyes. She looked just like Sylvain to him, and his heart clenched in his chest. People had to know. 

* * *

Merle was standing with a determined look on his face while Cerise clapped cheerfully from her spot on the floor. Merle was clinging to the bed frame, and Felix was keeping a watchful gaze on him as he took his first unsteady step. Cerise had already mastered this, and Merle had been struggling to keep up, sometimes crying in frustration when he couldn’t do what he saw his sister manage with ease. Sometimes that devolved into the both of them crying until Felix somehow managed to get them both to calm down, pacing them around the room on opposite hips. The two were a handful, and both had pale brown eyes that matched Sylvain’s, deeper and more golden than his own. Felix didn’t know how to feel about that. He loved them all the same even so. 

Taking the pair outside to venture around the monastery always seemed to calm the pair down considerably. They seemed to like seeing all the unfamiliar things outside of the quiet of Felix’s room. It helped that several people stopped to chat with the two “sweet faces”, mostly chatting towards the babies than Felix. He wasn’t sure if he enjoyed being a magnet for attention or not, but he was finding he was getting used to it. The two were old enough for others to be willing to watch them while he went off to train or practice his magic. He had gotten rusty in the time he’d taken off from the sword for sure, and there was fat in places he hadn’t had it before. It felt good to have time to move his body like that again though. 

* * *

“Fe! Fe-fe!” Merle said, grinning at Felix, whose heart was seizing at the sound of his precious baby calling him. The pair were eight moons old now, and he was beginning to prepare to start leaving them to aid Edelgard. He wasn’t sure he wanted to leave the pair of absolutely perfect souls, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t keep his word either. Felix was waiting until they were a year old to wean them completely off of his milk. Manuela said it was ok to do after a year, but hadn’t recommended doing it any sooner than that. He almost wished she’d said two years. 

Ingrid entered the room hurriedly, and the twins greeted her with excited squeals, but something about her expression had Felix’s stomach tying into knots. Her green eyes met Felix’s with a serious expression as she tried to catch her breath to get the words out. 

“Sylvain is coming back,” she said finally, and Felix stiffed, unable to spare a glance at the two babies tugging at Ingrid, who slowly relented, bowing down to gather them in her arms with a soft smile. Ingrid had cut her hair short after Cerise had gotten in a fearsome tug on her hair, nearly pulling some of it out. Babies were surprisingly strong, and Felix was thankful he had never dared wearing his hair down around the little tyrants. 

“When?” Felix finally asked, letting himself relax slowly and focusing on his breathing. Stressing out about it wouldn’t do him any favors. 

“In about a week,” Ingrid responded, and Felix wished he had more time to emotionally prepare himself for the inevitable encounter between the two of them and the twins. He didn’t want to bring the stress into the little ones’ lives.

“Do you think he’ll be able to tell?” Felix asked in a tight voice, his eyes on Cerise, who looked so much like Sylvain, no matter how much Ingrid disagreed.

“They look like babies. Her hair is softer in color than Sylvain’s. It looks more like Hapi’s,” Ingrid said, running her fingers over Cerise’s soft, wispy curls. Merle’s hair was curlier than hers, looking a bit more wild and textured like Sylvain’s often did from what Felix could remember of distant, childhood memories. Felix sighed finally.

“Let’s hope,” he said, and Ingrid smiled slightly at him.

“It’ll be ok, Felix.” 

Felix merely nodded in response. He wasn’t so sure that it would, but he would get through it. He had Ingrid on his side, and several others now too. Even if Sylvain never spoke to him again, he could pull through with his new safety net of friends. Something he would have never been able to say before all of this, so he had something to be thankful for. He would never stop being appreciative of everything Ingrid had done for him.

* * *

Felix was out in the grassy area in front of their old classrooms with Cerise and Merle when Sylvain returned to the monastery. There was no guarantee that they would even cross paths, and Felix wasn’t about to change the kids’ routine because he was afraid of seeing Sylvain’s face. It was easy to prioritize their smiles over his own discomfort. When Merle looked over at Felix with a broad smile or Cerise leaned into his side, Felix felt his concerns wash away like they were never important anyway. It was easy to get caught up in the bright, unwavering joy of the twins. Even when they cried, smiles were never far away.

“Oh, Felix,” Mercedes greeted him with a basket nested in the crook of her arm, “I thought you would be back in your room by now.” She sat down on the blanket Felix had spread out next to him. Merle was quick to scramble across the blanket toward her, his eyes zeroed in on the basket.

“They’re still having fun,” Felix responded, grasping Cerise’s hand gently and moving it away from his face with a soft “no”. She pouted slightly at him before trying it again moments later, the persistent little thing. 

“Oh, I bet. They love it out here,” Mercedes agreed, setting the wicker basket down, and removing a small container of tiny bites of some sort of cookie she’d made for Merle and Cerise. The two were absolutely obsessed with them, and Cerise had given up trying to put her fingers in Felix’s mouth at the sight of them. Mercedes giggled as the two set their sights on her; their tiny hands raised as if begging for alms. 

“There’s nothing they enjoy more,” Felix replied after a moment. Mercedes just laughed, dropping the snack into the waiting hands of the two. A warm breeze carried the scent of someone’s tea, and Felix breathed a deep sigh. 

“Thanks for always making those for them,” he spoke suddenly, reopening his eyes to stare into Mercedes's deep, periwinkle eyes. 

“Oh, it’s no problem. Their little faces of joy is all the thanks I need, really,” Mercedes responded, laughing at an over zealous Merle who had dipped his hand into the jar to try for a fistful of them. Cerise whined, pushing at Mercedes’s knee to try to sneak her hand in too, but Mercedes gently pushed the both of them away. 

“...Felix?” a hesitant voice came from behind him, and Felix recognized it immediately. He turned, meeting Sylvain’s surprised expression. Felix found himself relaxing instead of feeling nervous when Merle held out a bite to him. Felix shook his head at Merle, placing the bite in Merle’s mouth instead, who giggled at this. 

“It’s been awhile,” Felix greeted him coolly. The sun caught Cerise’s red half-curls, making it glow golden for a moment like she had a little halo around her head when she turned to look at the strange man she’d never seen before. She looked only for a second before turning back to Mercedes, who was more interesting since she had yummy food.

“You...” Sylvain looked like he was struggling to know what to say, and Mercedes was doing her best to distract the babies for Felix, who was giving nearly his full attention to Sylvain’s words. His heart raced in his chest as he considered the possibilities of what Sylvain might say as he had thousands of times before. Sylvain’s eyes settled on the collar that remained around Felix’s neck. Cerise and Merle were starting to finally look tired enough for their nap though, so Felix was going to have to gather them and the blanket up soon. Mercedes handed Merle back to Felix and stood.

"I'll leave you two to catch up," she said gently, and Felix nodded in response, keeping a wiggly Merle tucked into his chest while Cerise blew bubbles happily and stared at Felix. Felix picked Cerise up with his other arm, standing and lifting the blanket with a foot to grab hold of it, Cerise and Merle giggling and helping him hold onto it.

"It's time for their nap, but once they're in bed we can talk if you want," Felix told Sylvain and didn't wait for the man to make up his mind, hurrying off to tuck the twins in. The two babbled happily the whole way until they were laid down with their blankies. Cerise still smiled and gazed cutely up at Felix, while Merle had already started sucking his thumb and dozing. Felix glanced over his shoulder to find Sylvain staring, his expression wistful and full of something Felix couldn't place, but it made his heart constrict all the same. Felix spared one last look to the sleepy twins before stepping out where Sylvain hovered.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" Felix snapped, acting more like himself now that it couldn't upset the twins. Sylvain chuckled, rubbing the back of his head as he sorted his thoughts.

"Are they... really yours?" Sylvain asked suddenly, and Felix stared at him in shock. Had he really not been told? 

"You didn't know?" Felix asked in disbelief. His hands uncurled at his sides, but his posture remained defensive. Felix thought the effects of childrearing were obvious on him still. His body was different now, forever changed and so obvious to himself that he couldn't imagine anyone not seeing it. The way his stomach sagged like a deflated balloon, soft and unable to resemble the tight skin that once sat there even after all his effort to whip himself back into shape. His chest especially took a while to reform back into some semblance of pecs instead of... He didn't even want to think about it.

"No! No... I was in Fhirdiad. All I got was the occasional message from Edelgard," he responded, looking like he wasn't sure how to even begin to respond.

"Cerise and Merle," Felix said suddenly, crossing his arms, "They're both mine." Sylvain's eyes grew wide for a moment, staring searchingly at Felix for something, but Felix's expression didn't change.

"They're not..." Sylvain looked panicked, and it was about what he expected from Sylvain, who grasped at his hair in the beginnings of a panic. Felix sighed and rolled his eyes, wishing there could've been excitement or happiness on his face amidst everything else.

"No, they're Ingrid's," Felix lied, finally putting Sylvain out of his misery. For a moment, he looked like he thought Felix was joking. 

"Some of her brothers have red hair, so that's where Cerise must have gotten it," Felix supplied, already tired of this conversation. It was like repeatedly stabbing himself. He had never been a good liar, so he wasn't sure how he managed to fool everyone for so long. In fact, neither he or Ingrid were usually good at this sort of thing. He wondered if everyone just knew but was letting them pretend their lie was true.

"But you're not... mated?" Sylvain gestured slightly at Felix's collar, and Felix sighed, loudly.

"It was an  _ accident _ . And entirely my fault," Felix told Sylvain, "Ingrid probably would've, but there's no obligation for it just cause we accidentally made children. That's backwards and only leads to more misery for the both of us. You've seen how she looks at Dorothea."

"Dorothea's a beta," Sylvain responded unhelpfully, as if he couldn't fathom any relationships outside of betas with betas and alphas with omegas or alphas.

"That doesn't matter," Felix groaned, feeling like he should've just laid down for a nap with the twins instead of dealing with Sylvain.

"Oh! Felix!" Ingrid waved, smiling brightly, "And... Sylvain?" She sounded surprised to find them together, and Felix was honestly surprised Sylvain was still there. Their conversation had been stilted at best, and it was clear Sylvain was feeling uncomfortable.

"Hey, they're sleeping right now," he told her, accepting the cup of tea she handed him. Almyran Pine Needles, his favorite. He breathed in the smoky smell happily. It always reminded him faintly of that night with Sylvain now, but it was no longer a bad thing. More of a treasured memory. It was how he got his pair of wiggle worms after all.

"So, Sylvain... How was Fhirdiad?" Ingrid asked slowly, sipping the tea delicately. She was always better at making conversation than Felix. Felix followed her to the table that sat outside his room, just tucked up under the awning. So many people came by to visit the babies or to chat with Felix that made sense to have out there.

"It was..." Sylvain took a deep breath, "Not great. Dimitri's not even present anymore, and Rhea is basically ruling. I wish I could've done more." Sylvain sighed into his hands, looking older. He'd been there for a year, and it sounded like the boar had finally shown his true colors. His snort clearly showed his contempt, but Ingrid patted Sylvain's hand gently.

"It's better for you to be back here with us then," Ingrid told Sylvain, "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved." Felix looked over to catch the sad expression on Ingrid's face, and again, he felt bad for dragging her along with him instead of letting her try to convince her father for just a bit longer. 

"Well, that's enough of that," Sylvain chuckled nervously, drawing his hand away from Ingrid's, "So... You and Felix?" He gestured suggestively, and Felix grimaced in disgust while Ingrid just sighed, passing a hand over her face.

"You know, Sylvain," Ingrid started, "This should serve as a warning to you. We messed up  _ once _ , and I know you've done so far more times. Who knows how fatherless babies you could've made." Ingrid was taking this moment to voice her frustrations for this situation without explicitly saying so. Felix wanted to hide his own face as it grew warm with the knowledge that he was one of Sylvain's "accidents" himself, looking pointedly away from both of them as Ingrid laid into Sylvain about being more responsible. Ingrid had chastised Felix his fair share about this already until he started taking his heats more seriously, though they were extremely consistent since he'd had the twins, down to the day even.

Felix mostly just spaced out, enjoying the tea and the little bit of free time he was getting away from the twins. It was a nice day, even if it was a little too warm. The end of summer was fast approaching, and soon it would be the second anniversary since Garreg Mach and the professor went missing. Felix wondered how long they would all hold out hope for the professor's return. 

Felix stood at the sound of Cerise cooing. She had woken up early, and was probably playing or something in her crib instead of calling for him again. Felix left Sylvain and Ingrid without a word to scoop the little red head into his arms and feed her in the dark privacy of his room.

* * *

"They're not yours, are they?" Dorothea asked Ingrid in a hushed tone, gesturing lightly toward Felix and the twins. All of them had gotten somewhat used to the abundance of smiles Felix showed around the pair of babies, but it was obvious Sylvain was feeling at the image Felix made. Like he longed to be a part of the picture. It hadn't taken long for Dorothea to piece together the mystery.

Ingrid sighed softly, "Felix asked me not to tell, so I won't confirm or deny anything, but I also don't want to lie to you either."

"Oh, Ingrid," Dorothea responded with an easy smile, squeezing Ingrid's hand gently in hers, "You really know how to get at a girl's heart." A pale blush colored her cheeks, and their eyes met. Ingrid looked a bit hopeful, her expression open and full of wonder at Dorothea's pretty expression.

"I hope I have enough charm for you, Dorothea," she responded, flushing as well, and Dorothea gave a sly smile. 

"I wonder if I'll be called a homewrecker for stealing you," Dorothea teased, and Ingrid laughed in response. Both had decided to hold off publicizing their relationship until after the war well before this particular conversation, but Ingrid wondered for a moment if she would be talked about that. She wished Dorothea wouldn't, but what she said had sounded like something that might happen.

"Let's hope not," Ingrid finally said, giving Dorothea a final smile before she hurried over to help Felix wrangle the two busy crawlers.

* * *

Felix lay on the floor, letting Cerise and Merle crawl over him, both giggling loudly as they clumsily surmounted the Felix mountain. Eventually they grew tired of climbing over him and focused on the many toys that Felix had stored back in the box earlier. Felix was tired today, staring up at the ceiling and mostly feeling unmotivated to move anywhere at all. Cerise had refused to sleep through the night, keeping both him and Merle up for hours, and Felix was really feeling it now that it was daytime again.

"You look exhausted, Felix," Mercedes mentioned once he'd finally managed to dress himself and the double trouble twins. He was unsurprised that he looked a little worse for wear, but the two still needed their monthly check up.

"I feel exhausted," he responded, setting the two down on the infirmary bed that had been scooted back against the wall and hoped they would decide to be good and not try to crawl down. 

Cerise babbled cheerfully with Mercedes, her eyes bright as if they were holding an actual conversation as opposed to Mercedes just making up one in response to her indecipherable noises. Merle mostly clinged to Felix, making a "no" sign repeatedly at Mercedes. It was the only one he knew so he could really mean anything. Cerise knew a lot more of them, but Felix supposed it was probably just easier for her. Mercedes thought they were perfectly healthy after all.

"Annette and I could watch them later if you want," Mercedes offered with a gentle smile, handing Cerise over to him and looking over Merle. 

"That would be a big help," Felix admitted, pushing the loose hairs out of his face. Mercedes smiled in response.

"Any time."

* * *

The twins were a year old, and for the first time in over a year, Felix was preparing to go out onto the battlefield again. He felt anxious even though he knew Ingrid was watching the twins while he was going to be gone. Edelgard had said it was a low risk mission and was sending Leonie and Marianne along as well. 

"We should spar sometime when we get back, Felix," Leonie said with a grin, "I didn't even know you planned to return to the field." Felix sent her a wry smile.

"Too late to change my mind now," he responded with a dry tone. Leonie laughed, mounting her horse. She had been growing her hair out, and it was just below her chin now. It looked surprisingly good on her. They hadn't talked or seen each other much around the monastery, so Felix wasn't exactly surprised she didn't know. He kept mostly to himself outside of whoever chose to visit him themselves.

"It's nice to know I'll have a good sparring partner again," Leonie told him, urging her horse forward with a gentle squeeze. Felix nodded as she went on ahead to lead their small group toward their destination. 

It didn't take long for them to find the bandits hiding along the path, and it took even less time to route them with Leonie's skillful leadership. She had grown a lot over the past year and a half. Felix was starting to feel a bit left behind, but at least keeping up with the pace of the battle wasn't a problem at all. Battle was exactly as he remembered, terrifyingly easy for him to fall back into the mindset of kill, kill, kill. His sword dripped with blood by the end, and his heart was heavy with the feeling. They returned in relative silence through the snow that had gotten thicker overnight. All Felix could think about was bundling up with Cerise and Merle to keep himself sane, hoping he was on the right side of it.

* * *

"Felix," Sylvain caught Felix's wrist with one hand, getting him to turn around and face him. He stared intensely into Felix's eyes, and Felix could smell the soft aroma of pine and home that drew at him like nothing else could. It was Sylvain, who smelled so similar to his favorite tea because it was always Sylvain with Felix. Felix met Sylvain’s gaze, words of protest lost in his throat when he met those serious, honey colored eyes.

“Fe, you can’t lie to me anymore,” Sylvain spoke, his grip tightening on Felix as if he was afraid that Felix would run away, “They’re mine. I know they are.” Felix started, pulling at Sylvain’s grasp, terrified of what could follow those words but longing to hear them at the same time.

“No, Sylvain, you’re- you’re  _ mistaken _ ,” Felix said in a voice that was awfully unconvincing. Sylvain just pushed Felix into the wall. 

“No. No, I’m not,” he responded, tone falling into something that exuded alpha pheromones and did something a little funny to Felix’s brain. He liked the roughness Sylvain was treating him to, and he feared that the intensity of Sylvain might send him into heat. 

“They were born in the Red Wolf Moon,” Sylvain said as if that explained everything, and Felix looked at Sylvain in confusion, pressing for him to explain with just a look. Sylvain pressed him harder into the wall, edges of brick dug into Felix’s skin, his shirt barely doing a thing to protect him from it. 

“Exactly nine months after that time in the library,” Sylvain supplied, suddenly looking vulnerable, “Why wouldn’t you just tell me?” Felix stared at Sylvain in shock. He didn’t know what to say. He had no clue how he was even supposed to begin to explain. Every time he had unexpectedly gone into heat then had been after he caught the smell of pine needles. His heart thudded loudly as he realized why. Why all of it had happened only when Sylvain was nearby, and he didn’t want to know any of this. 

“I would’ve stayed with you, Fe,” Sylvain said in a broken tone, and Felix still stared at him wordlessly and wide eyed. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know that finding out would hurt him like this. He had just been afraid to lose Sylvain forever if he did. 

“I... I would’ve done whatever you needed,” Sylvain said, sounding near tears and cupping Felix’s face gently, the rough press of his fingers on him gone now. He pressed his forehead to Felix’s and drew in a shaky breath. The aroma of pine needles grew stronger around them, confirming once again for him that it was coming from Sylvain.

"Sylvain," Felix started, but he was never good at this, good at words and explaining his feelings. He was just so scared. Sylvain pressed a gentle kiss to Felix's head, his hand dropping away from Felix's chin.

"It's ok, Fe. You don't have to explain," he told Felix with a sad smile, and Felix knew he had it wrong but didn't know how to change his mind, "I know you didn't want me involved with them. I'm just a philanderer, after all." Felix's heart squeezed in his chest, and he started to reach out toward Sylvain. Sylvain just pulled away, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly, "It wasn't right to put you on the spot like this. I'll leave you alone." Felix's eyes widened again, but this time with desperation. His feet, his hands, and his mouth all failed him simultaneously as he watched Sylvain leave him there with slumped shoulders, and Felix felt a part of himself wither and die. He had really and truly ruined it all with his silence.

"Wait," he finally spoke into the empty air. His heart was heavy with regret. Sylvain was gone, and he had made everything worse. Felix rubbed at his eyes, but there were no tears. He had to go check in on the twins. Felix took a breath to steady himself and finally walked away too.

* * *

“Ingrid,” Felix started. He’d stayed quiet about this too long, but he couldn’t help that he wasn’t handling what had happened well at all. Sylvain hadn’t either, but he could only reflect on himself, even if the temptation to point fingers at Sylvain for assuming his reasoning was easier. He balled his hands into fists at his sides as he tried to figure out how he wanted to say this. 

“What’s going on?” she asked, her concern obvious in her tone. Felix forced himself to meet her eyes.

“He knows,” his voice was small and nervous. Ingrid froze for a moment, green eyes going wide in surprise. She turned serious moments later.

“How did he take it?” she asked finally, seeming almost afraid of the answer Felix would give. Felix wanted to curl into himself, but the twins were watching him with nervous expressions. He had to calm down, so they didn’t get upset too. Felix sat down slowly, pulling Merle into his arms and running his fingers through his chin length black hair to soothe himself. Merle smiled at him, shaking his head against Felix’s hand.

“Considering how drunk he’s been this week, not well,” Felix finally said, dryly. His emotions securely bottled, and he smiled at Cerise to confirm it. Cerise laughed in response, grabbing her feet in excitement. Merle also giggled, feeding off of his sibling’s excitement. 

“He’s known for a week?” Ingrid gasped, raising an eyebrow accusingly at him. Felix looked away from her, his lips pulled into a firm line.

“Sorry,” he said in a too soft voice. Ingrid merely sighed.

“So what happened?”

Felix felt himself go rigid again, but he slowly smoothed himself out and told her. He felt ashamed of it, but he had to get it out. He couldn’t keep replaying that scene over and over in his head until he cried himself to sleep anymore. He was avoiding the problem. He needed to move on.

* * *

“Sylvain,” Ingrid said. Her hands were placed firmly on her hips as she blocked the taller man off from leaving to go drink as he had every day before it. Sylvain barely registered Ingrid was even there, almost barreling into her in the stupor he had drank himself into. He was still somehow drunk from the night before, and it was more than a little appalling to see him like this. 

“Sylvain,” Ingrid repeated, her tone more stern this time. Sylvain looked down at her with bleary eyes, and Ingrid remained stiffly in place, despite how sad and haggard he looked. He should’ve known Ingrid of all people would be immune to his pouting. He didn’t have the energy to put up a front. He was barely even awake. 

“Ingrid,” he responded finally, and Ingrid made a face at the strong smell of his breath. Almost moving to pinch her nose closed but deciding better of it.

“We need to talk,” she stated. There was no room for Sylvain to refuse, though he considered thinking up ways to weasel out of it. He knew they wouldn’t work, really. It wasn’t like there were a lot of places for him to hide out in Garreg Mach. 

“I don’t think we do,” he replied, still trying to think of something to skirt his way out of this. He had a feeling it was just going to be her lecturing him in some way or another, and he honestly wasn’t in the mood. 

“Yes, we do.” There was no allowance for argument. Sylvain sighed.

“Alright, alright. Can I get cleaned up first?” he finally assented. 

“I would prefer it,” she responded, and he noticed the way her nose was wrinkled. Good to know he smelt about as good as he felt. He sighed loudly again, turning back into his room to rummage around for what he needed. It was too early in the morning for him to already be up, and his head was heavy with the beginnings of a hangover. If only he could get one drop on his tongue to ease it... but he knew Ingrid wouldn’t allow it with the way she was hovering over him, even following him into the bath house. 

After he had freshed up under her watchful eye, she brought him over to a table with breakfast and tea set on it already. Sylvain also didn’t expect for Felix to meet them moments later at the table as well. Felix also seemed caught by surprise.

“You didn’t mention you were bringing Sylvain,” Felix said stiffly. Ingrid rolled her eyes.

“Because I knew you’d react like that. Sit,” she motioned, and Felix quietly obeyed. Sylvain was surprised, expecting Felix to be more like he remembered, loud about his displeasure and quick to storm off, but he was different from before, quieter and more controlled.

“If you haven’t guessed already, we’re gathered to discuss the elephant in the room. The twins father is Sylvain, not me. We all know this,” Ingrid began as if this were a perfectly normal conversational topic to begin with, but Felix supposed she was tired of seeing the both of them mope about it.

“Now, let’s get into the details of what happened,” Ingrid continued, “Before either of you can assume something stupid about each other.” Sylvain groaned softly, looking like he was ready to bolt from the table at any moment, but Felix just sipped tea as if nothing was happening at all. Felix smelt vaguely of citrus to Sylvain, and he tried to ignore the alluring smell. 

“Felix, he should hear it from you,” Ingrid said with a pointed look. Felix sighed, tension showing in his shoulders for just a moment before he set his cup down.

“Ingrid, I’m not-” 

“You still need to. I’ll leave if you need me to,” Ingrid cut him off, but Felix shook his head in response. He actually preferred having her there. He didn’t want to clam up again and let Sylvain believe the worst of him.

“I didn’t want you to know,” Felix started softly, curling his hands together nervously as he tried to parse his sentences together, “After all, we weren’t in a committed relationship. I thought you would just up and leave me like every other omega. So if you didn’t know... you wouldn’t feel obligated to stick with me or feel the urge to disappear from our lives completely.”

“Felix, I wouldn’t-” Felix held his hand up to silence Sylvain.

“You had never once given me reason to believe that,” Felix responded harshly, his eyes flashing with hurt. He couldn’t believe in Sylvain’s pretty words. He didn’t want to get hurt by him.

“ _ Fe _ , it’s different with you,” Sylvain tried, looking desperate to prove the truth of his words, but Felix just felt cold inside. All of his words just sounded like  _ lines _ to him.

“Don’t give me lines like you do to any old omega,” Felix responded in a soft voice, and finally Sylvain stopped trying to cut in with some kind of empty reassurance for him. 

“I’m not willing to start anything with you if I don’t know you’re serious. I’ve got Cerise and Merle to worry about, and if you’re still drinking like  _ this _ ,” Felix gestured to Sylvain generally, implying he knew how Ingrid found him that morning, “Then I don’t want you around them either.” Sylvain looked hurt, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t understand. 

“I’ll- I’ll do better, Fe, promise,” he rasped, sounding hollow and like he truly meant it. Felix merely smiled tiredly.

“Then prove it.” 


	3. Closing Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one's a bit shorter
> 
> *
> 
> “ _ Some parts of my brain are probably still sleeping _
> 
> _ I wish I could tell but I'm probably still sleeping _
> 
> _ I look to the window _
> 
> _ I look through your eyes _
> 
> _ I can see my reflection but I cant close the blinds _
> 
> _ It's like, someone’s determined to change how I think but if I just close my eyes I'll wake from each dream _ ”
> 
> \- “Chasin’ Honey” by Wild Party

It wasn’t like flipping a switch for Sylvain. It was slow and grueling, but if he looked over at Felix and saw the two loud, toddlers that were  _ his _ , he found a modicum of motivation again. He craved drinking again almost constantly, though the pull it had on him was quieter. Sylvain hoped he was showing improvement. He hoped Felix would find it in himself to trust him. The kids were nearing three years old, and it had been four since the war began. Sylvain wondered how Dimitri was doing. He wondered if he was still there, would he have been able to make a difference, but then he wondered if he would’ve been okay with missing so much of Cerise and Merle’s growth. He had already missed almost a whole year of it. 

Merle looked so much like Felix that it made him want to coddle the boy to no end, and Cerise was entirely her own person, resembling Ingrid more than either of them. She was confident with Felix’s bite to her words and talked a mile a minute about all kinds of things, many of them not making a lick of sense, but Sylvain was happy to listen when he got a chance to. Felix had been hesitant to have him around them at first, but once he had been clean for a month, Felix started softening up. 

"Syl! Syl!" Cerise cheered when she saw him, waving her arms wildly, "Up! Pick me up!" She hurried over toward him, running face first into Sylvain's legs. Felix laughed, still sitting with Merle in his lap, who was reading a book to him with a very serious expression. Sylvain lifted Cerise up quickly tossing her into the air for free giggles of excitement before continuing over to Felix.

“Good morning, Fe,” Sylvain smiled at Felix, who glanced at him before nodding again at Merle, who was bent on showing off his memorization skills. 

“That book is boring,” Cerise wrinkled her nose slightly at Merle, and Felix sighed, knowing she was just trying to pick a fight with her twin. Merle didn’t rise to her words.

“Cerise boring,” he responded sagely, turning the page and carefully working through the next part. Merle struggled more with speaking than Cerise, but he was making good progress nonetheless. Felix didn’t care how long it took them to get good at talking, so long as he could figure out what they needed.

“Morning,” Felix said as Sylvain sat down, handing him some charcoal, chalk and paper for Cerise to draw with. Cerise cheered excitedly and set to work on the paper immediately, her feet swinging behind her as she drew on the floor. Felix was good at getting the two to forget about disputes that they were on the cusp of having. 

“Have you eaten yet?” Sylvain asked, producing a basket full of baked goods and sandwiches. Felix sighed softly, rolling his eyes. 

“You alway bring food. Why would I?” he responded. Sylvain simply grinned, handing a sandwich over to Felix, which he shared with Merle. Cerise was too distracted with her drawing to care about food yet, but they would save plenty for her to eat when she was ready to indulge. Sylvain watched Felix and Merle eat, feeling a familiar warmth in his chest. He loved seeing Felix like this, so domestic and pretty. 

Sylvain had struggled to navigate interacting with the two toddlers, while Felix made it look like a breeze. Maybe being around them since the beginning gave him an edge, but Sylvain was determined to catch up. Cerise seemed to like him, at least. Merle barely ever spoke to him, but Merle only liked Annette, Felix and Ingrid. Mercedes unfortunately had given Merle too many shots for him to treat her as a friend, and Sylvain, well, apparently he was just not good enough. Sylvain honestly had no clue why Merle looked at him with a glare, but it was cute and reminded him of Felix so he didn’t mind too much. He was a child after all. Cerise liked everyone though, so her liking him wasn’t much of an accomplishment. She played with whoever would let her, even learning how to use a lance from Leonie as a type of “play”. Leonie seemed to enjoy teaching her, and Cerise just thought it was fun acting like an adult. 

“No looking at Fe. Here is my drawing,” Cerise said suddenly, thrusting the paper in front of Sylvain’s face, and it was too close for Sylvain to really even see it. He leaned back slightly to get a better look. He still had no clue what was going on. Just that there was lots of black and a bit of red.

“It’s really good,” Sylvain smiled sincerely at her. He had no idea how well a three year old was supposed to be able to draw, but she worked determinedly long enough for him to think she was probably ok for her age, at least. 

“It’s you and me on a horse! Leo says you have a horse,” she said seriously, and Sylvain nodded. He didn’t really see what she was talking about, but the splotches of red chalk now made sense.

“I do,” he responded, “Her name’s Eileen. Would you like to meet her sometime?” Cerise’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Would I?!” she exclaimed, looking toward Felix with expectant eyes. Felix looked over at her glittering eyes and obvious excitement and caved immediately.

“Alright, but after nap,” he responded, and Cerise cheered, running in circles.

“Horse?” Merle looked up curiously from his book. He had read it at least three times, very slowly. He had the same serious expression every single time. Felix frowned slightly, looking over the stack of board books before pulling one out and knocking the small tower over.

“Here. See? This is a  _ horse _ ,” Felix said, pointing to an oversimplified drawing of a horse, and Merle nodded slowly.

“Horse,” he repeated, trying to memorize the word. Very seriously. Cerise snickered, and Felix shot her a look, but Merle didn’t react again. He was extremely calm that day, which Sylvain thought was a good thing. He didn’t want to see another screaming, hair pulling match between the two toddlers. 

* * *

“Why do they call you ‘Fe’ instead of Dad?” Sylvain asked, and Felix just shrugged.

“It felt weird. I respond better to my name,” he answered easily, “Is it weird?” He suddenly looked a bit concerned, his eyes searching Sylvain’s expression. Sylvain just shook his head fondly with a chuckle.

“A little,” he answered, “But, somehow, it’s also very like you.” Felix looked at Sylvain in suspicion, and he caught the faint smell of pine needles in the air again. The scent hit him like a bolt of lightning, and Felix took a step away from Sylvain. 

“I’ll let you know when they’ve woken up,” Felix said before ducking back into his room, and Sylvain frowned in confusion and wondered what he’d said.

* * *

Ingrid was watching Merle and Cerise like usual when Felix locked himself away in his dark, quiet room for his heat. He hated how quiet and lonely the room became without his little family around. He rested his head against the sheets that smelled only of him, and dreamed of warm hands and whispered words that meant nothing. His brain fabricated Sylvain’s scent in the air. If Merle and Cerise were the sun and moon, Sylvain was his Northern Star. Always there to guide the way, but never within reach. Felix was lonely.

* * *

Merle looked at Sylvain stoically for a long moment before opening his mouth, “Syl.” Felix’s eyes widened, and he quickly praised Merle for remembering Sylvain’s name, to which Merle smiled brightly back at Felix.

“Good job,” he said back to Felix happily, and Sylvain was still reeling from being recognized by Felix’s miniature. The two obviously had very different personalities as children, but the pinched expression he often had was very reminiscent of current Felix, and it was sometimes too cute for Sylvain to handle. Cerise pouted at Sylvain and Felix until she was given some attention as well from the two. She was feeling a bit left out, and Sylvain couldn’t blame her. All their attention had been on Merle for quite a long time. 

“Sorry, Cerise,” Sylvain said, patting her red hair gently. She nodded slightly, the pout still firm on her lips.

“Good,” she responded, and Sylvain barely held back a laugh. He would never be able to get enough of the twins. They were amazing. Refreshing even. Sylvain didn’t know how to explain it, but it certainly made it easier for him to be a good person. Even if Felix was still eyeing him wearily and keeping a firm distance between them. Sylvain longed for more, but he could wait. He could wait a long time for Felix, hanging onto the promise of more he’d been given. 

* * *

Sylvain was helping Cerise get her hair pulled into her signature pigtails. She looked a bit like Hilda like that, and the thought made him a bit sad. He didn’t exactly feel excited about potentially facing her on the battlefield. Even less so since he had Cerise, Merle and Felix to look forward to seeing more of them if they came out victorious in this. He was starting to understand why Felix always looked so scared before a battle. Felix never wanted to leave the kids for the nightmare out there. Sylvain couldn’t imagine why he kept doing so. Edelgard would let him go if he asked. 

“You’re doing it wrong,” Cerise said suddenly with a frown on her face. Sylvain froze, keeping everything where it was.

“How so?” he asked, and she slowly led him through how Felix usually did her hair. Sylvain did his best to do it the way she said, and Cerise was more than happy to point out when he got it wrong. Sylvain was eventually done, and she scrutinized his work a final time in the mirror before tossing a smile at Sylvain.

“Good job, Syl!” she congratulated him, and Sylvain found himself smiling back. He supposed he did do a pretty decent job with her hair. She quickly ran over to Felix to show off her hair, who nodded and smiled at her while fighting Merle to wear shoes. Sylvain had seen Merle throw his shoes off within minutes of them being put off too many times now to not feel bad for Felix when he saw it happen. 

“Do you want help?” Sylvain asked, holding one of the shoes that had been tossed halfway across the room to Felix. Felix looked up at Sylvain, grimace apparent on his face. 

“Thank you,” he said, taking the shoe and pulling it over Merle’s pink toes again. Merle started to protest again, but didn’t squirm as hard that time. Felix breathed a sigh of relief once they were both on, and Merle was toddling grumpily across the floor.

“No shoes,” he muttered to himself, banging his stuffed dog against every surface he passed. Cerise hurried after him, showing him her hair and completely unconcerned with his mood. Merle didn’t stay scowling for long and was soon fighting with her over blocks. Felix only broke into their battles if they got too serious, usually when they were grappling across the floor. 

“Did Cerise put that in your hair?” Sylvain asked, reaching out to touch the bow on Felix’s ponytail. Felix looked surprised for a moment as if he didn’t know what Sylvain was talking about before he remembered the pale blue bow in his hair.

“She wanted to match,” Felix responded, and Sylvain glanced over to Cerise noticing that their bows did, in fact, match. Sylvain’s face spread into a goofy grin, his entire heart warmed as he imagined Cerise telling Felix to wear it. Felix was scowling, but the bow stayed put in his hair. Sylvain felt like he was falling in love with his childhood friend all over again. 

* * *

A battle on the border kept Felix away for almost a month. Merle became near impossible to deal with, demanding he wanted Felix and throwing toys at Sylvain to keep him away. Merle’s soft, honey colored eyes were full of tears, and Sylvain couldn’t help but feel for him. He had to miss Felix a whole lot to still be this distressed. Cerise was quieter, holding a stuffed bunny to her chest as she watched Sylvain try to calm Merle down.

“Will Fe be home soon?” she touched the pale blue bow in her hair, the ones she liked to wear when she wanted to match Felix. Sylvain’s heart clenched at the sight. 

“I promise he’s working super hard to be back soon,” Sylvain told her, patting her head gently. She sniffled, pressing her face into the bunny’s soft fur, and Merle threw a wooden block at Sylvain.

“You said last time!” he pointed out, and Sylvain was discovering that he was really not good at this. He didn’t know what to tell them or how to comfort them. He couldn’t say that he knew their party was late to return and that Felix could be injured or  _ worse _ . Sylvain didn’t even want to think about that himself.

“I heard something banging against the wall,” Ingrid said as she peeked in, “Good to know it’s just Merle throwing things.” 

“Ingie!” Cerise stood, running toward Ingrid who scooped her up with a smile. Sylvain relaxed slightly, seeing Cerise wasn’t crying anymore too. 

“They have made it clear to me that I am not a good enough replacement for Felix,” Sylvain grinned at Ingrid, who just rolled her eyes. 

“No one is,” she chuckled.

“Is Fe back yet?” Cerise asked Ingrid, and Merle perked up at the question, his eyes looking at Ingrid full of hope.

“We just got notice that he’s headed back,” Ingrid told them gently, and the twins cheered loudly, chanting “Fe” over and over again for the next several minutes before they were finally laid down for a nap. Once the door was shut and they were a couple paces away to keep out of the twins’ hearing range but still able to hear if they cried, Sylvain looked at Ingrid.

“What happened to delay them?” Sylvain asked nervously, wishing he could’ve gone with Felix for the first time, regretting how happy he had been when Felix had trusted him to look after the two while he was gone. A part of him wanted a drink before they sat down and had this conversation, but he dismissed the thought.

“Felix is fine, if that’s what you’re asking,” Ingrid started, “Injured, but fine. There was an ambush, apparently. They had been expecting them.” Sylvain’s heart clenched at her words.

“Injured?” he asked, gripping the wooden pillar with one hand as he tried to push aside the new wave of guilt that he hadn’t been there. 

“Sylvain, it’s nothing permanent,” Ingrid explained, but Sylvain was already despairing. She shook her head fondly at the dramatic man. Some things never changed at least. 

* * *

Whenever they prepared for battle, Felix’s entire demeanor changed, Mercedes had noticed. She noticed the hunger his eyes flashed with, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She worried that it would end up affecting his time at home with the twins, but also didn’t know how to broach the topic. Instead, Mercedes did her best to be a friend to Felix and show that she was available whenever he wanted to talk. 

Their battalion was on its way back to Garreg Mach, led by Ferdinand and his cavalry. Being on horseback certainly had its upsides during travel, Mercedes lamented her aching feet and calves. 

“Felix? You’re not on the wagon?” Mercedes looked at Felix in surprise. His limp was obvious to her, and she remembered telling him he shouldn’t be walking on his leg. 

“No,” Felix huffed, and Mercedes thought carefully about how to respond to his stubbornness, when she noticed the red hue to his pants.

“You’re bleeding again,” she pointed out, “Let me heal you back up really quick.” Mercedes moved toward Felix, forcing him to sit. A couple of the other soldiers came to a stop when they did, and Felix frowned the whole time but didn’t stop Mercedes from repairing his leg and sending him back to the wagon. She even sat next to him on the back of it to make sure he didn’t hop off again to walk. Felix was feeling antsy though. He needed something to do, and sitting on the back of a wagon just wasn’t providing the mental stimulus he craved. 

“How are things going with Sylvain?” Mercedes asked suddenly with a knowing smile, and Felix felt uncomfortable.

“Fine,” he answered stiffly, and Mercedes continued to smile in that way that told him she knew more than she was letting on.

“I heard you left the twins in his care while we’re gone,” she continued, attempting to prod the information out of him, “Cerise looks a lot like him too.” Felix could feel himself bristling, but he knew more and more of them were going to put the pieces together with him letting Sylvain be around them more often. Felix felt a bit ashamed that he hadn’t just said the truth from the beginning. He didn’t even know why a part of him still wanted to hide it.

“What about it?” he responded gruffly, still not meeting Mercedes’s eyes. Mercedes chuckled softly, more to herself than anything else.

"Oh, nothing," she responded finally dropping the topic, but from the look she had in her periwinkle eyes, she already knew exactly what Felix's situation was, "Just that I don't know why you're hesitating anymore. It's been a year, hasn't it?" Felix had no response for that. 

* * *

Their battalion finally arrived in Garreg Mach as the sun set. Felix was exhausted from hours of travel on the wagon through muddy roads. Mercedes had kept him company the whole time on it, but from the way she rubbed at her lower back, Felix could tell she had been feeling it too; no matter how good her facade had been the whole way. Torches lit the monastery in a warm, yellow glow like a beacon for the weary soldiers, and Felix was hit with a wave of relief and worry. He stood, boots sinking into the mud and keeling when he made the mistake of putting weight on his injured leg. Mercedes kept him standing upright with a gentle hand, and they stepped through the gate.

Felix hadn't known what he had been expecting, but he certainly wasn't expecting Sylvain to rush toward him, drawing him into a tight hug. Felix froze, immediately wondering who was watching the twins instead of appreciating the warm embrace of the alpha whose arms encircled him and made him feel certain something was  _ right _ when he was there. 

"Merle and Cerise are in bed with Ingrid nearby," Sylvain murmured to him, soft and so sweet. Felix's heart clenched, and he leaned into Sylvain's arms, hugging him back finally. He was relieved. He was back. And then he scented Sylvain, and he was too close and his heat was due in just a few days. It immediately had him quivering at the knees, the soft call of his alpha calling in his ears. It was primal and possibly felt just as strongly by Sylvain, who stiffened at Felix's trembling.

“Are you flaring up?” Sylvain asked softly, his hands clenching at Felix’s lower back and drawing Felix in closer as if protecting him. His breath ghosted over Felix’s ear, and Felix nearly gasped at the sensation that was almost arousing. Felix bit his lip to hold back the noise.

“It’s your fault,” Felix responded crossly, forgetting what his words would imply even though that was exactly what was happening. His heat was being triggered by whatever Sylvain was doing to him right then. The possessiveness, his smell, all of it was just overwhelming Felix. Felix managed to pull himself away from the embrace, finding a small reprieve and a slew of longing coursing through his veins. It was a small victory for his sanity. 

Sylvain somehow didn’t respond to Felix’s earlier words, instead seeming to be having a very serious internal debate while attempting to remain visibly unaffected. He was so busy trying to evaluate every little bit of Felix’s words, trying to keep himself from getting too hopeful while simultaneously being very much over the moon about it. Sylvain couldn’t help that he harbored a sliver of doubt that Felix wasn’t actually attracted to him, that it had been the heat when they were younger and now was just the obligations of friendship and a sense of duty to their children. He was afraid to be lost in the wind with the idea, but every part of him wanted to take it at face value and run with it. Sylvain wanted more than anything to carry Felix off and mate him right that second.

But Felix was limping.

“You’re injured?” Sylvain asked, slapped from his thoughts by the realization. His hands hovered in the air, and he didn’t know how to offer his help other than to wait for Felix to accept any part of him that waited.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Felix responded, averting his eyes from Sylvain’s searching ones. Sylvain wanted to see the injury and make sure of that with his own eyes, but he also didn’t want to push Felix too far. He felt like he was toeing a fine line with the other man constantly. His heart was loud in his ears with anxiety.

“Let me help you walk at least,” Sylvain carefully pressed, holding his arm out to Felix, who glared but still took it. Clearly, it wasn’t a small injury if he was willing to bite back his pride for the moment. They walked in relative silence, slowed down to Felix’s agonizing pace. The smell of citrus still lingered in the air, stirring something in the pit of Sylvain’s stomach, but he didn’t bring it up this time.

Once they arrived, Felix released Sylvain and went over to the room that the twins now occupied on their own next to Felix’s room. They slept in their own beds that were set lower to the ground than all the rest in the monastery. Sylvain was pretty sure Felix cut the bed’s legs short himself because they weren’t very even. The twins didn’t mind though, but they also didn’t really know any different. Felix stared through the doorway at the two in silence as if memorizing what they looked like before stepping away.

He stumbled as he did, and Sylvain quickly reached out to steady him. Felix looked up at him in surprise and almost looked embarrassed. It was hard to tell in the low light, but Sylvain was almost sure enough to bet on it. The look was such a rare one that Sylvain tried to savor it, knowing his memory wouldn’t keep it for as long as he wanted. They stood there in silence staring at each other for a long moment, their breath coming slow and hushed as if they were afraid to break the moment. The scent of Felix’s heat came back stronger than the last time, and Sylvain could feel it hit his brain like a rush of adrenaline. The desire to have him loud in his brain, and the desperation on Felix’s face reflected the same sentiment. 

“Fe...” Sylvain started in a rough, affected tone. Felix’s eyes widened for the barest of moments at the sound of him. Felix broke eye contact first, face shadowed in the darkness when he looked off to the side seriously. His ears were burning, but Sylvain couldn’t see it. He was still barely in the beginning of his heat, and Sylvain was more aware of it than anyone else had been. Even in the courtyard, not a single alpha spared a glance at him, but Sylvain had reacted immediately. Felix didn’t dare continue to think what that might mean. The blush on his face was intense enough already.

“Let me see your injury,” Sylvain continued, and it was a thinly veiled attempt to be alone with Felix, and Felix didn’t have it in him to deny Sylvain. 

“Fine,” he responded, intending to sound more abrasive but coming off more tired than anything else. Sylvain quickly pulled them into his room, not giving Felix a chance to change his mind. Felix settled on the bed shucking off his muddy, thigh-high boots he’d recently started wearing. Sylvain watched him; his mouth was dry as he swallowed, unable to look away. Felix glanced up at him, arching an eyebrow, and Sylvain smiled at him as if he was unaffected by Felix undressing in front of him. Felix began untying his pants slowly. Sylvain almost felt like he was being teased as Felix slowly pulled the lacing apart before pushing them down below his hips, revealing a strip of skin for a moment as his underwear threatened to leave with his pants. Sylvain could barely breathe. He was completely enraptured by the sight of a partially undressed Felix perched on the edge of Felix’s own bed in front of him.

Then the jagged, red mark revealed itself. Sylvain could tell it had been hastily healed in the midst of battle, and all other nefarious thoughts were expelled from his mind as he moved to touch the mark gently. Felix flinched slightly, but didn’t comment at the hand moving over his leg. The goddess’s light pooled beneath Sylvain’s hands before he could even begin to think about it, and Felix looked surprised.

“When did you learn that?” he asked, sounding a bit breathless for a moment. Sylvain didn’t look away from his hand, focused on healing Felix until he was satisfied or ran out of magic. Faith didn’t come as easily to him as reason, but he did his best whenever he thought about the fact that Felix would be out there on the battlefield. He almost wished he was better at this. 

“The professor had me learning it. I think he couldn’t decide if he wanted me to be a dark knight or a holy knight,” Sylvain chuckled at the idea of himself being a holy knight, in the shining gold trimmed livery. He glanced up at Felix’s drawn expression for just a moment, keeping the quirk of his lips apparent. 

“I don’t really see myself as the latter, to be honest,” he said, and Felix nodded in agreement. Felix was so close to him, and the holy light faded away from his hand as he became focused on Felix’s face again. The smell that was uniquely Felix lingered in the air, stirring Sylvain up in ways no one else really could. Felix looked vulnerable to him as he leaned up to cup Felix’s sharp chin in a single hand; his eyes half lidded as he drew Felix down to him. Their lips met for a chaste kiss that was short-lived, turning more heated as Felix began to react and lean into it. Sylvain pressed in, shuffling his knees forward to bring himself closer to Felix. Felix’s fingers tangled into Sylvain’s hair, pulling him close. 

It had been such a long time since they had last felt the warmth of another’s body. For Sylvain, it had been less time, but his desperation seemed all the more apparent than Felix’s. Felix found himself pushed down into the mattress, Sylvain pressing just the right amount of weight on him to pin him down and hold him in place. Sylvain claimed Felix’s lips like a starving man, and Felix could barely keep up as Sylvain as his mind spun and his heat surged to life beneath Sylvain. It was like the world had burst into fireworks, and Felix immediately went deaf and blind from it. There was nothing in the world but Sylvain. 

“Sylvain,” Felix breathed, panting for air when Sylvain pulled away. His eyes were hazy, and his lips were darkened from Sylvain’s passionate kisses. He was a sight to behold. Sylvain’s fingers ran over the leather collar on Felix’s neck, wishing it wasn’t there. He looked back at Felix’s face with a slight smile on his lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned back down to claim Felix’s lips and encouraged the relief of both of them from their clothes. He found Felix slick for him when his fingers wandered down to the pink bud, and Felix made a soft, phantasmic moan that had Sylvain’s mind reeling. He played it over and over like a recording in his mind; his heart caught in his throat; and when he met Felix’s deep, brown eyes, he found Felix looked ashamed of it. Sylvain was forever a changed man from that noise.

Felix’s next moan came muffled, and Sylvain wanted to beg for him to not hold them back. Instead, he asked with his fingers, pressing a second alongside the first into the tight velvet of Felix, who rewarded him with a barely held moan as he pushed deep to find that spot that made Felix writhe. Impassioned by each expression and noise from Felix, Sylvain pressed kisses over the smooth skin of Felix’s chest, finding pointed nipples and teasing them. Felix shivered and whined. He had alway been so sensitive there since he’d had the twins, but now it was very nearly devastating him. 

Felix’s hands gripped for purchase in Sylvain’s hair and on his shoulder. His hips bucking desperately in the gap between them, occasionally brushing up against the soft hair on Sylvain’s upper belly. He wanted to beg and plead with him to do more, but he didn’t know how to even describe what he wanted more of. His mind was swimming with color, and he could barely focus on anything in the room before he was throwing his head back with another striking moan that almost didn’t sound like him at all.

Sylvain recaptured Felix’s lips with his own, leaning up to push their erections together, Felix’s own likely providing more than enough wetness for the both of them. Sylvain kept them pressed together, and Felix let out a stuttered moan at the sensation. His neglected hole desperately ached to be filled again, but Sylvain seemed determined to prolong this as much as he could, and Felix was nothing if not his complicit partner. Everything Sylvain felt indescribably good, and Felix could barely take it. His back arched desperately up as he edged ever closer to his own orgasm, whimpers and pleading noises spilling from his lips now as he could no longer hold a single one back. 

“Fe,” Sylvain murmured, his brows drawn with a heavy breath as he gazed intensely at Felix’s undone expression beneath him. The way he called to Felix tugged at his heart, and he wished for more and more. He wanted to be marked up by Sylvain, his own fingers touching the leather that separated them for just a moment as he considered it. 

Felix couldn’t take it. He couldn’t last a moment longer, and he came loudly into Sylvain’s hand, his lips wide with his cry. Sylvain praised him softly, complimenting him again as fingers found their way back inside him, filling him up in the way he so longed to be. Sylvain continued to murmur softly things that Felix didn’t care to remember in the heat of the moment as he started to warm back up again, quickly thanks to his heat. Sylvain pulled away slowly, after pressing another soft kiss to Felix’s lips that had him chasing. The snap of plastic brought Felix suddenly to the present, finding Sylvain using protection this time. His logical mind was infinitely thankful for this, though he wasn’t given much longer to consider the thought.

Sylvain pressed into him, and Felix’s breath was knocked out of him at the feeling. It was a tight, slightly painful, but oh so glorious fit. Sylvain groaned softly above him; his eyebrows screwed up at the feeling. Felix gazed up at him, panting and memorizing the picture; momentarily afraid he might not ever see it again. Everything about this felt so perfect and good that it was almost like a thin sheet of glass. 

Sylvain held Felix’s hips tightly in place and began to move, slowly. Felix felt like he might die. The shocks that were sent through him at each movement were near impossible to withstand. Felix was losing his mind at the feeling, his own hips thrusting and fighting against Sylvain’s hold for him to move faster. Finally he did, and it was exactly what he needed. Moans fell from his lips again like desperate prayers. Neither of them were pious people, but the moment was certainly a reverent one, and it was the closest either would ever get. 

Felix could feel Sylvain’s knot growing in between them, and it seemed that it was impossible for it to not form between them. The level of desperation expressed between them was reflected so clearly in the moment. Felix pushed up with one hand to pull Sylvain into a needy kiss, tears shining in his eyes. He felt so good and loved. Sylvain’s lips left his to find his neck, pulling and biting into the leather unforgivingly. It was sure to leave bruises on the sensitive skin, and that was exactly what Felix wanted from it. Each bit of pain it sparked hit him like it was intense pleasure instead.

Sylvain’s final thrust hit him hard, bringing him to a second release just moments before Sylvain released himself, filling the thin layer of rubber between them. His knot held them together, and for a moment, Felix worried it might break from the pressure. Sylvain seemed completely unconcerned as he placed lazy kisses against Felix’s brow.

“I want this to last,” Sylvain whispered to him, just before he fell asleep.

* * *

Felix woke to his limbs tangled with Sylvain, feeling happy and content. He glanced up at Sylvain’s relaxed, sleeping his face for a moment and almost forgot about everything else. The sun wasn’t even up yet. There was barely any light pouring in through the tiny slat of a window in the room, but he was awake. A part of him wanted to stay happily nestled there for a while longer, but the soft cry he heard from the shared wall between his room and his kids beckoned him. Sylvain shifted, grunting softly as he woke, and Felix watched the process for a moment, forgetting his earlier plans for just a moment as honey brown eyes met his own. Sylvain smiled lopsidedly at him, looking barely awake. 

“You’re still here.” Sylvain cupped Felix’s chin with a large hand, admiring him, and Felix felt a bit caught. He pulled away swiftly, feeling his cheeks heat, and hurriedly pulled his clothes on to rush to the children. It was almost too much to experience all of that. His heart hammered in his chest, and he almost felt out of breath just thinking about it all. 

The moment Felix opened the door to greet the twins, the two erupted in screams of excitement, rushing toward him with the early morning energy that only children seemed to possess. Felix hugged Cerise and Merle tightly, feeling a great sense of relief wash over him. He was home, and the twins were alright. Everything felt better when he had the two in his arms. They were soon squirming to get out of the hug, Cerise demanding Felix do her hair and she would do his (since he had forgotten to pull it back in his haste to get away from Sylvain), and Merle started playing with some blocks that Felix hadn’t seen before. Merle seemed completely entranced by them.

Cerise was brushing Felix’s hair back into a frilly ribbon when Sylvain joined them, still looking like he was barely awake. Felix’s heart stirred as he thought back to the red stubble that had lined Sylvain’s chin when they first woke, the bite of which he barely remembered from the evening before. It was gone now, but Felix knew it had been there. Seeing Sylvain when he first woke up in the morning was really doing something to Felix. A feeling he didn’t know how to name settled in his chest, and he could barely meet Sylvain’s eyes.

Instead, he sat with Merle helping him figure out his new blocks while Cerise pestered Sylvain about his horse. Apparently she had been promised she would get to ride one with Sylvain when Felix returned, and now she was determined to get it right away. Felix smiled to himself as he listened to the two of them. 

* * *

It was raining out, and both Merle and Cerise had too much energy to stay inside. Cerise was splashing around in a puddle, likely getting muddy water inside her boots and soaking her clothes, but she seemed to be having the time of her life. Merle, on the other hand, seemed to hate everything about the rain and eventually retreated under the awning to linger near Felix instead of playing with Cerise. 

“Wet,” he said, holding a hand out toward Felix, who toweled him off gently until he started fighting against the fabric in distaste.

“Do you want to play inside then?” Felix asked him, gesturing toward the twins room. Merle nodded firmly with a serious expression. His pale eyebrows furrowed together as he considered the thought. Felix glanced toward Ingrid, who was watching Cerise.

“Go ahead, Felix. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Ingrid smiled at Felix, who looked relieved before scooping Merle up and toting him off. Merle clutched tightly to Felix and stared over his back for a moment before looking at Felix with bright brown eyes and a slight smile. Felix smiled back at him, and Merle’s smile grew in response. The look was its own reward. 

* * *

“Sylvain.” Sylvain turned, meeting Lindhardt’s blank gaze.

“Yes?” Linhardt held out a white bottle with a single hand. It made a rattling noise when Linhardt moved it.

“Give this to Felix for me, will you?” he yawned, waving a hand in front of his mouth and made sure Sylvain had a hold on the bottle before swiftly hurrying off. Sylvain didn’t even get a chance to ask what it was. He pocketed it, figuring Felix could tell him when he delivered it. Hopefully Felix knew what it was. 

On his way to find Felix, he had to make a detour because Hubert and Ferdinand were butting heads loudly in the corridor, their combined alpha pheromones making the entire area stink of anger and Sylvain didn’t want any part of whatever turf war they were attempting to have. The two were honestly too much to be around sometimes. Their loyalty to Edelgard sometimes expressed in the most excessive of ways, and Sylvain had a feeling that it led to some very angry, passionate romps behind closed doors if the sometimes mixed scents of them indicated anything. 

While on his detour around those two, Sylvain then ran into Ashe, who was honestly carrying too much for the small man to handle, so he had to stop and help him before he hurt himself. Ashe was extremely thankful, though a little wary, sending narrow eyed glances Sylvain’s way every few minutes or so until they finally parted ways. 

“Sylvain!” Mercedes called, stopping Sylvain yet again. He sighed, mostly to himself, before turning around and giving Mercedes a winning smile.

“Hey, Mercie. What’s up?” Mercedes smiled back at him, jogging up to him with a basket swaying in her arms. 

“Well, Annette and I went shopping a few days ago, and we ended up buying quite a few things,” Mercedes started with a slight flush to her cheeks. Sylvain couldn’t resist taking the heavy bag from her before he even knew what she had stopped him for. She was clearly a bit out of breath from hurrying to catch up and lugging the thing around. Annette wasn’t far behind her, appearing seconds later and carrying more bags than Mercedes. 

“I was hoping you could help us carry them to our rooms,” Mercedes continued, “Annette is carrying so many, and I’d feel bad if she ended up hurting herself carrying them all for me.” 

“I’m fine, Mercie,” Annette started, but she clearly looked a bit tired as well. Sylvain reached out, taking a couple of her bags and handing a particularly light one off to Mercedes so she didn’t feel like she wasn’t helping.

“Ok, lead the way,” he responded, unable to stop himself. The two looked relieved and grinned brightly at him.

“Thank you so much Sylvain!” Annette cheered. Luckily they took him back toward the barracks, and sent Sylvain off with some cookies and a gift for the twins. He had completely forgotten about the bottle in his pocket until he finally saw Felix, who sat under the bright sun with a book in hand while Merle and Cerise built a castle out of sticks in the grass. 

“Felix,” Sylvain spoke, setting the bag Mercedes and Annette had given him on the table and pulling the bottle out to set it next to it. Felix looked up at him, placing a strip of ribbon in the book to mark his page. 

“Are you an errand boy now?” Felix asked, lips twitching with a smile, and Sylvain chuckled in response. Maybe he was. 

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank to my spouse who helped me come up with the fun terms you'll see in here from time to time, like "peacock", "hot rod" and others. Made writing this with the intended depth into omegaverse dynamics much easier.


End file.
